Can’t Knock The Hustle: GOAT Talk
I don’t know how many of you are fans, but I enjoy watching episodes of “GOAT Talk” on Complex’s YouTube channel.
On the show, Complex will have two celebrities give their takes on random “GOAT” topics that are related to who the celebrities are in some way. For example, Paul Wall and That Mexican OT are two rappers from Texas, so a majority of the topics are about rap, Texas, or a combination of both. Mike Tyson and Francis Ngannou were on another episode, so there were a lot of topics involving combat sports like boxing and MMA.
It’s a bit of a rapid-fire format, with the celebrities taking turns flipping cards over, seeing what their “GOAT” topic is, and then immediately naming their “GOAT” of that particular topic.
I dig the idea, and because there have been episodes where only one person is on the show, I decided to take that idea for this week’s column.
To get some topics, I reached out to a few people and had them send me their wrestling-related “GOAT” suggestions, and I’ll be answering a bunch of them, in a rapid-fire style. No need to dedicate 2,000 words on any one topic.
Get it?
Got it?
Good.
Let’s have a little GOAT Talk, in no particular order.
GOAT Wrestling Entrance Music: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Even before any actual music was heard, the mere sound of glass shattering was enough to send tens of thousands of people into an absolute frenzy at the same time. By the time those guitar riffs kicked in… well, to quote the great philosopher R. Clayton Davis… sheeeeeeeeeeit.
GOAT “Talker” In Wrestling: Mick Foley. There have been a lot of great promo people in the history of the business, but nobody ever did it like Mick. He could make you laugh, make you cry, make you scared, make you think, and everything in between, and it was all based in reality. Mick has been very upfront about his promo process, and they almost always come with real emotions attached to them, based on real events that happened in his personal or professional life.
GOAT Wrestling City: Toronto. I think a few different cities are in the running here, but Toronto wins out for me. We’ve been seeing loud, raucous crowds there for decades. If you want added bonuses, the city itself is beautiful, the people are friendly, and it is a melting pot with something for everyone when it comes to food, entertainment, and things to do in general.
GOAT Wrestling Style: Strong Style. Antonio Inoki was able to combine a shoot-style offense taught to him by the legendary Karl Gotch with his own martial arts background, blending it with pro wrestling’s original “catch” style, to create the type of wrestling that would propel New Japan to insane heights. I love the physicality of these types of matches, and just how deep down wrestlers have to dig to defeat their opponents.
GOAT Wrestling Ring Gear: Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Controversial? Maybe it shouldn’t be. When Bret was an active pro wrestler, men simply “weren’t supposed to” wear pink. It wasn’t “manly” in the slightest. You know what I mean. Then, Bret came along, and not only was he wearing pink all the time, he made it look cool. He made boys all over the globe love pink. His iconic sunglasses, leather jackets, pink and black gear… it all fit together in perfect harmony.
GOAT Wrestling Pay-Per-View: WrestleMania 17. A solid, but short, opener between Chris Jericho and William Regal. Raven, Kane, and Big Show having a Triple Threat for the Hardcore Title that was infinitely more entertaining than anyone expected it to be. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle having a technical classic. Chyna having a great moment that the live crowd ate up. Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon having the quintessential “overbooked to hell, but still a lot of fun” match that the company was known for back then. TLC 2. The Undertaker and Triple H having one of the more underrated matches in Taker’s WrestleMania catalog. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and The Rock taking us all on a ride, filled with drama and emotion, even before the Austin heel turn. There was something for everyone here.
GOAT Women’s Wrestler: Becky Lynch. It might be “cheating” a bit because of the focus on promos and character work in North American wrestling compared to places like Japan, but I’m going with the total package. Becky has had some incredible matches, against a wide variety of opponents, but has also done phenomenal work on the microphone, advancing her character and storylines both as a face and as a heel. In the process, she has become not just one of the biggest female stars in the business, but one of the biggest stars, period. You could make arguments for different Joshi women as being better in the ring than Becky, but again, as a complete package, nobody is beating her.
GOAT Wrestling Era: The Attitude Era. How’s this for a quagmire? In my opinion, the Attitude Era is both the greatest era of all-time, as well as the most overrated era of all-time. When it comes to the characters, moments, and rivalries, this is when professional wrestling was at its absolute best. However, when it comes to the quality of the in-ring action, there have been numerous stretches in WWE alone that top it, let alone from everywhere else. Overall, though, it’s difficult to beat the pure magic that was delivered during the Attitude Era.
GOAT Wrestling Move: Lariat. It doesn’t matter what your favorite wrestling promotion is, or what country your favorite wrestling originates from… chances are, some version of the Lariat is/was one of the most feared moves around. There’s a good reason for that. When done right, the Lariat is a brutal move, and it’s one of those moves that doesn’t look like it should ever be kicked out of.
GOAT Wrestling Catchphrase: Suck it! Sure, you could add “We’ve got two words for ya…” and use the entire thing, but it was those two specific words that got every wrestling fan around the planet in trouble at one point or another. We all said it. We all did the crotch chop to go along with it. Some of us got suspended from school for saying it to a teacher. Others got a whooping for saying it to our parents. I’d still be willing to bet that it didn’t stop anyone from saying it again, though. It’s still something you hear in wrestling from time to time, and the DX crotch chop is still seen in “real” sports all over the world.
GOAT Wrestler From Mexico: El Santo. Think about how popular Hulk Hogan, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, The Rock, John Cena, and many others were in the primes of their careers. Even in their primes, and even in their hometowns, their popularity was nothing compared to El Santo in Mexico. If you want great matches, he delivered. Great character work? He had it. The aforementioned popularity? He was a literal comic book hero, as well as a movie star, cartoon star, and the subject of countless songs. El Santo IS Lucha Libre.
GOAT Wrestler From Japan: Keiji Mutoh/The Great Muta. The person that sent this topic in made a point to specify that these categories were for people born in the place mentioned, so there’s the explanation for those of you who are upset that Rikidozan (a Korean man born in Korea) wasn’t chosen. If we’re going to look at purely in-ring skills, Mitsuharu Misawa or Kazuchika Okada might be the favorites here, but Mutoh was not only a great wrestler, but he has also been a fantastic character for decades. He was even able to use his skills and his character work to find great success outside of Japan, working in Puerto Rico for a bit before heading to World Class Championship Wrestling in Dallas, Texas and then having his famous stint in WCW. A complete package.
GOAT Wrestler From Europe: Sheamus. I know what you’re thinking, but let me explain. While Andre The Giant, Bruno Sammartino, and others were bigger draws than Sheamus, and go down in history as “bigger” names, but they don’t come close to matching the in-ring work of Sheamus. When you look at Sheamus’ career, he has been an incredibly solid, dependable, and entertaining performer for over two decades, and for over nearly 17 years now. He was never known as a “talker,” but he has been able to deliver promos that worked for him and his character. He is a four-time World Champion, with 13 total championships since signing with WWE. Seven men have won a Royal Rumble and a Money In The Bank briefcase, and he is one of them. Three men have won a Royal Rumble, Money In The Bank briefcase, and a King Of The Ring crown, and he is one of them. Because he was never one of the flashiest performers, he has largely flown under the radar, and that makes him, arguably, the most underrated names in wrestling history.
GOAT Wrestling Venue: Madison Square Garden. It’s not the biggest, newest, or flashiest venue around, but there’s just something magical about it. Fans know it. Wrestlers know it. Promotions know it. When a show takes place at MSG, it is rightfully treated as a big deal. I just wish we got more televised shows from MSG, but I understand that isn’t the best idea, financially, these days.
GOAT Wrestling Commentator: Jim Ross. The man was able to make-or-break you with a single call, and he has provided more memorable lines and moments than any commentator ever. Even though he will admit he isn’t in his “prime” anymore, he still provides a level of excitement to the few matches he calls that is unmatched by anyone else on the AEW roster.
GOAT Wrestling Hairstyle: Anything bleach blonde. Gorgeous George, “Nature Boy” Buddy Rogers, “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, “Superstar” Billy Graham, Pat Patterson, Scott Steiner, “Surfer” Sting, Chris Candido, “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin, Cody Rhodes… the list goes on and on and on. Enough said.
GOAT Wrestling Referee: Earl Hebner. There are multiple generations of pro wrestling fans who will say “Earl Hebner” immediately when asked to name a Referee. WWF/WWE fan? Earl Hebner. WCW fan? Earl Hebner. AEW fan? Earl Hebner. Puroresu fan? Earl Hebner. He was in the ring for more of the biggest matches in the sport’s history than anyone else. On top of that, he was also in the ring for some of the biggest scandals in the history of the sport, kayfabe or otherwise.
GOAT Wrestling Storyline: The Bloodline. So many twists and turns. It has helped to make Roman Reigns one of the sport’s all-time greats, and it has also helped to elevate people like Cody Rhodes, Sami Zayn, and Jey Uso to crazy heights. Hell, it even has Solo Sikoa looking like a future monster in the business. The current stuff that features The Rock is adding new layers and more of a mainstream presence to everything. It hasn’t been perfect, but the good has far outweighed the bad over the last few years.
GOAT Independent Wrestler: Bryan Danielson. He was already a big name on the independent scene in early-2002, when, along with Low Ki and Christopher Daniels, he was in the main event spot on the very first Ring Of Honor show. From there, he saw success everywhere he went, while people assumed he could never find mainstream success because he didn’t match up with what Vince McMahon wanted his superstars to look like. We know how that worked out in the end, though. Before the “Yes Movement” set the sports world on fire, Danielson was a legendary indie talent, earning the “Best In The World” nickname before guys like CM Punk and Chris Jericho adopted it.
GOAT Wrestling Manager: Paul Heyman. The work he has done with Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar alone would qualify him for this spot. Throw in his work with CM Punk, Big Show, as well as The Dangerous Alliance, and you’ve solidified his spot. Entertaining stints with Ryback, Cesaro, “Mean” Mark Callous, Sabu, The Samoan Swat Team, Tommy Rich, and many more are the icing on the cake. Heyman has been involved in so many championship reigns, and has done more than any manager in history to get to the top, stay at the top, and put his charges over.
GOAT Funny Wrestling Moment: Big meaty men slappin’ meat! Absolutely hilarious. Big E’s rant on New Day’s podcast, talking about who his “dream match” would be against is something most of us have seen or heard by now, but it’s always worth revisiting. E completely destroyed Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston, and his own college buddy, Rashad, with an absurd rant that simply kept building and building and building, leaving real tears on all four of their faces when all was said and done. There have been funny moments and lines during actual wrestling programming, but nothing has topped this. Four years later, we’re still talking about “meat” thanks to AEW, and then E himself pitching a “Meaty Men Invitational” at WrestleMania that would feature the “largest, most bulbous, most girthy men” in WWE competing to see who is worthy of being the “meatiest man on God’s green earth.” Amazing.
GOAT Celebrity Involvement In Wrestling: Cyndi Lauper. It’s one of the most widely shared stories in the history of the business by now. She was one of the biggest stars in all of music, and a chance meeting with Captain Lou Albano led to a working relationship between the two, which brought Lauper to the WWF, and that increased the company’s popularity tenfold. That popularity led to bigger and better opportunities, including an event airing on MTV that led to a 9.0 rating, which boggles the mind. From there, the WWF was able to ride that wave of momentum to the creation and execution of the biggest (and riskiest) event in wrestling history at the time… WrestleMania. There have been a ton of great celebrities that have been involved in wrestling through the years, but you can’t beat Cyndi Lauper. No Cyndi Lauper, no WrestleMania. No WrestleMania… who knows what we would be talking about right now.
GOAT Wrestling Merchandise: The original nWo t-shirt. If you were a wrestling fan when the nWo was first doing their thing, you remember that the original, black-with-white-lettering nWo shirt was EVERYWHERE. If you were in school, it was everywhere. If you worked somewhere that allowed t-shirts to be worn, you saw it. If you went to the mall (remember those?), you saw it everywhere. Public transportation, hangout spots, parks, restaurants, and on and on… the nWo shirt was all over the map. Now, almost 28 years after the group was formed, the shirt is still one of the top selling items on the WWEShop website. That’s insane.
GOAT Wrestling Actor: Dave Bautista. If you’re looking for the biggest actor, then it’s obviously Dwayne Johnson, who has gone on to become one of the biggest stars in Hollywood over the last two decades. I’m looking at acting ability, though, and even Mr. Johnson’s biggest supporters would never say he’s an especially skilled actor. Dave Bautista, on the other hand, has excelled in supporting roles and starring roles. In comedic roles and dramatic roles. Gigantic Hollywood blockbusters, smaller films, and even voiceover work in animated movies. He is taking his new job seriously, and it shows.
GOAT 4th Match At Survivor Series: Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs “Stone Cold” Steve Austin in 1996. I love the absolute randomness of this topic. After looking up the entire history of Survivor Series, and seeing every match that has ever gone on fourth during the show, this is the easy choice. Was this match better than their rematch at WrestleMania 13 four months later? I don’t think so, but I know a lot of people who feel that it is. Either way, this was an intense, physical brawl that really set the tone for the rest of their feud. I love it.
That was a lot more fun than I initially thought it would be. Without the usual “best wrestler” and “best match” discussion, it opened the door to talk about things that I might not normally get to talk about. At some point down the road, I may open this topic up again, getting suggestions from all of you.
For now, I want to hear your takes on the suggestions included in this column. Did I get any of them 100% correct, in your opinion? If not, who would you choose? You can talk about one, or all, of the categories. As usual, feel free to hit me up in the comments section below, or on Twitter (@HustleTheSavage), and let me know what’s on your mind.
Next, let’s get to my Weekly Power Rankings, before wrapping things up with the playlist of music I was listening to as I put this column together.
Weekly Power Rankings
Bryan Danielson vs Katsuyori Shibata: Not that long ago, it would’ve been impossible to see this match take place outside of using Create-A-Wrestlers in a video game. Both men were forced into early retirements because of injuries, and their careers surely seemed over. It has been quite the journey, including Danielson finding himself in an entirely different promotion, allowing for a working relationship with New Japan Pro Wrestling, but here we are. This was every bit of the “let’s beat the fuck out of each other” battle that I wanted and needed it to be.
Mercedes Moné: Just like that, business has picked up in the AEW women’s division. She looked like, and came across as, the star that she is, and should provide a much needed boost to AEW. Of course, it won’t matter unless Tony Khan decides to completely change his ways when it comes to booking the women, so we’ll see, but for one night, we got something special.
The Rock: He played a face and a heel in the same promo, took a hilarious (and well-deserved) shot at the NBA’s Ja Morant, and then turned his famous line from a Disney song into what sounded like something a serial killer would say. The man is doing everything he can to make WrestleMania as big as possible.
Kyle O’Reilly: Like Danielson and Shibata, it sure looked like O’Reilly was headed for an early retirement due to a serious injury. He made his return to the ring on Collision, wrestling his first match since the June 8th, 2022 episode of Dynamite. It’s good to have him back.
Eddie Kingston, Penta El Zero Miedo & Pac vs The Elite: Do you like spots? Great! This match will be something that you enjoy a lot. In all seriousness, you should know my thoughts on AEW Trios matches by now. The company just knows how to do them right, and almost without fail, they’re exciting as hell.
Shayna Baszler: It was announced that she would be competing on Josh Barnett’s Bloodsport X card during WrestleMania week. Bloodsport features worked shoot matches, and Baszler has the opportunity to really shine there. It’s crazy to see WWE and GCW having this sort of working relationship. To make it even wilder, it is also being reported that Baszler won’t be the only WWE-contracted talent that will be working the show, but no word yet on anyone else making the jump.
Cody Rhodes: His ability to turn the waterworks on in his promos is very impressive. Unlike other people, I don’t think he’s “faking” his emotion. He loves deeply, so he feels deeply. When he talks about his parents and his family, it’s clear how much love he has for them, so those emotions bubble to the surface right away. It adds a ton to his promos, so I have no complaints whatsoever.
Komander vs Konosuke Takeshita: Does anyone remember the last time Takeshita had a match that was anything below “really good” on whatever grading scale you prefer? I don’t. He continues to be on an incredible roll, but he also continues to be placed behind several names on the roster, including some of AEW’s flashy free agent signings. I continue to worry about him getting lost in the shuffle as time goes on.
No More Bang Bang Scissor Gang: Thank you, Joe Pesci. Now, can we move Billy Gunn to the front office, release Max Caster, push Anthony Bowens as a singles performer, give The Gunns another push, and treat Jay White better, please? Kthxbye.
Becky Lynch vs Liv Morgan: Liv made her big return, and has promptly gone 1-5 since coming back. With Becky having a high-profile match at WrestleMania, this is not a match Liv was ever going to win, but it’s still worth pointing out that she is struggling.
Raw Gauntlet Match: These types of matches are really hit-or-miss, but this one was fun. A WrestleMania play date with Gunther was on the line, and while many felt that Chad Gable should’ve won this and gotten his rematch for the Intercontinental Title, Sami Zayn is a great choice. Does Gunther’s epic title reign finally come to an end in Philadelphia?
Willow Nightingale vs Riho: Mercedes debuts in AEW, and we get a women’s match in the main event of that episode of Dynamite. What a kowinkydink. Time will tell if the women’s division actually gets a renewed push and focus, or if it will fizzle out like a lot of things that AEW initially pays attention to.
R-Truth vs Damian Priest: Truth continues to be more and more popular with live crowds, who are eating up everything he does. I eagerly anticipate the return of Truth’s childhood hero, John Cena, to save Truth against The Judgment Day.
Oba Femi vs Brooks Jensen: The NXT North American Champion is still impressive, especially with his complete lack of experience, and he is showing that he can handle the bigger workload that NXT is giving him. He really does have “future World Champion” written all over him if he keeps doing what he’s doing.
Thunderbolt Patterson: This is a weird one for me. I’m not one of those people who complains about certain WWE Hall of Fame members never, or at least rarely, competing for WWE during their careers. However, WWE recently started their “Legacy” wing of the Hall, lumping a bunch of names in and making them HOF members without having to feature a bunch of speeches every year. From 2016-2021, that’s probably where Thunderbolt Patterson would’ve been included. We haven’t seen the Legacy wing over the last two years because of the way the HOF has been changing, but it is rumored to be coming back this year. My issue is that Thunderbolt Patterson is an official member of the Hall Of Fame, but the likes of Frank Gotch, George Hackenschmidt, Ed “Strangler” Lewis, Pat O’Connor, Lou Thesz, Rikidozan, Toots Mondt, El Santo, Bruiser Brody, Wahoo McDaniel, Mildred Burke, and many more are merely Legacy inductees. Shit, Stan Stasiak is a Legacy inductee, and he won the WWWF Heavyweight Title in 1973, ending the 1,027 day reign of Pedro Morales. Like I said, it’s just weird to me.
This Week’s Playlist: “Memphis” by Justin Timberlake… “Sanctified” by Justin Timberlake & Tobe Nwigwe… “Conditions” by Justin Timberlake… “Still Shinin” by Z-Ro, Paul Wall & Mike D… “Soul Revolution” by Fire From The Gods & Yung Mo$h… “Nappy Heads (Remix)” by Fugees… “N.Y. State Of Mind” by Nas… “The World Is Yours” by Nas… “It Ain’t Hard To Tell” by Nas… “Young Forever” by Jay-Z & Mr. Hudson… “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard… “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” by Journey… “Second Chance” by 38 Special… “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger… “Stutter” by Marianas Trench… “Check Yes, Juliet” by We The Kings… “Good To You” by Marianas Trench & Kate Voegele… “Good To You” by Marianas Trench & Jessica Lee… “Think I’m In Love With You” by Chris Stapleton… “Pinch Me” by Barenaked Ladies… “Hold The Line” by Toto… “Tonight” by Seether… “Cough Syrup” by Young The Giant… “Silhouettes” by Smile Empty Soul… “Girl All The Bad Guys Want” by Bowling For Soup… “Red Room” by Offset… “100 Bars Of Crack” by Ya Boy… “I Belong To You (Every Time I See Your Face)” by Rome… “We Riders” by Master P & Mac… “Burbons and Lacs” by Master P, Silkk The Shocker & Lil Gotti
