I attempted to become a professional driver in a GTA 5 where every car had no friction
If you remember, uh, yesterday, then you’ll remember how I have recently modded GTA 5 to essentially deactivate friction on all NPC cars. Also, all NPC cars are perpetually, unstoppably in motion. Long story short: they keep accidentally flying and/or exploding.
So I thought what I could do today would be to try to become a professional driver in that world.
I have installed The Getaway (Driver Missions), a mod which lets you dial a new number in your phone in order to undertake road quests. In practice, that means driving to a place, picking a guy up, then driving that guy to another place. At some point in this process you lose the cops.
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All well and good, but not overly dramatic. What makes it a lot more hair-raising is every other driver on Los Santos’ roads no longer obeys the laws of physics. Even driverless cars are irrepressibly compelled forwards, making it damn-near impossible to actually acquire a car to undertake these missions.
Fortunately, I am a lateral thinker. I simply used my car gun to summon a car directly into a wall. As the unstoppable force met the immoveable object, I was able to get in and go about my business. Sort of. When every car in the game is incapable of stopping but perfectly capable of murder, every single intersection in Los Santos becomes a dance with death.
Even picking up my fare was dicey—as he attempted to get into my car (which was, for whatever reason, an inexplicably snow-covered North Yankton police truck), a taxi cab floated nearby like a leaf on the wind, pancaking a separate pedestrian mere inches from my passenger.
I guess what I’m saying is: walkable urban spaces now.