WrestleMania Sucks And Here’s Why
WrestleMania is a spectacle. If you can afford the $32,000 tickets for both shows (I’m not lying), you’re probably in for a really cool fireworks show — But in between that will be some matches that, despite what WWE wants you to believe, don’t hold any consequences at all. That’s the downfall of the 2026 WrestleMania spectacular: only one match actually matters. Is it the World title match? No. The WWE title match? Not even. Would you believe it’s also not the rumored Asuka vs Io Sky match that matters either?
No, the only match that holds any weight is the Oba Femi vs. Brock Lesnar match. No title is on the line. There’s no stipulation where the loser has to wear a dildo on their forehead. This match matters because of Oba Femi.
Think about it. If Punk retains his title, Roman Reigns will be gone by Monday and on a tour to advertise Street Fighter. If Roman Reigns wins, Punk can win back the title on another day. Literally, nothing changes. If Orton wins the title from Cody Rhodes, sure, he’ll be one spot closer to breaking a record that was just broken a year ago, but other than that, Cody can and probably will win the title back another day. If Io Sky beats Asuka, of course, the landscape of professional wrestling will have changed forever… just kidding. Nothing changes except a lot of full bladders. The intercontinental Ladder Match will probably blow some minds, but no matter who wins the title, that can always be changed another day.
However, if Oba Femi loses, they can’t just course correct the next day. The damage will be done. The course correction on that will take months, if not years. My fear is that they’re going to do a post-match arm raising where Brock wins but raises Oba’s arm as a sign of respect for a hard fought match, and a little of me will die inside. At this point, Oba has to win. Brock is teetering on the edge of retirement, so he doesn’t need this win. If Oba Femi wins, he’s a made man. If he loses, this is the only match that will have long term ramifications that will be hard if not impossible to fix. Did they paint themselves into a corner with this match? I don’t believe so. I believe they’re set to make Oba Femi the next Brock Lesnar, or the first Oba Femi. I strongly believe that. I have to believe that. If, and this is not that big of an “if,” the match is basically a squash match and Oba loses clean to Brock Lesnar, it will deflate my interest in pro wrestling so much I might not watch another event until WrestleMania 2027. Is that drastic? I really don’t know. I once had a mental breakdown when Netflix canceled their Marvel TV series, so I really have no barometer of what’s rational or not.
The other matches? I have never seen such a poor build up to a WrestleMania, and I said the same thing last year and the year before that. Triple H is just not good at building feuds that deserve a blow off on the grandest stage of them all. Why is Rusev getting a title match after a year of jobbing to everyone and their sisters? Why is Pat Mcafee the main attraction of this year’s Night 1? Why do floor tickets for two people cost $64,000; enough to buy two perfectly good brand new cars? Why was the build up between Punk and Reigns centered around a heated rivalry only for the go-home segment to be a glorified reach around with mean mugging? Speaking from experience, that’s just not going to work.
This year’s WrestleMania has the least consequence of any PPV in recent memory, with a poor build up to match, and only one match has such a consequence that if they mess it up I may quit wrestling for a year. What is going on?
Who is iShowSpeed? I’m 40 years old with a job — I have no idea who that man is. I know Jelly Roll is a singer who lost a ton a weight and isn’t a wrestler, so I’m not sure any of that qualifies him to be a wrestler. But apparently WWE knows something I don’t. And Cam’ron, don’t get me started on Cam’ron. Particularly because I don’t know who Cam’ron is. He hasn’t been relevant since that time 30 seconds ago when I googled his name to write this sentence. Is this really how far from Grace the Uso’s have fallen, that they either need to pin or eat a pin from a YouTube personality? What happened to “just being patient” about an LA Knight push? Anyone remember when he went on hiatus, and we were told it was intentional so that he would get a big return pop, then he returned with no pomp and circumstance? Am I going crazy?
I don’t plan on ordering WrestleMania; I sure as hell have no intentions of selling my grandma’s kidney for tickets. That’s a thing, right? Selling your grandm– never mind. This time, in the year of our Lord Liv Morgan, only one match carries any weight. Guys, honestly, what are we even doing here?
