“I Didn’t Realize At First …”
“I saw the signs, and it opened up my eyes …”
Kacy Catanzaro didn’t see the signs at first, but in retrospect, she’s starting to piece together everything that happened.
During a recent appearance on INSIGHT with Chris Van Vliet for an in-depth interview, the former women’s tag-team champion spoke at length about her recent release from WWE, and how she didn’t realize there were clues that it was coming until she recalled the last few weeks.
Featured below are some of the highlights from the interview where she touches on this topic with her thoughts.
On no longer being with WWE: “I think at first I thought that I was in shock and not able to process it, because I feel like when you work there, there is a joke of you could literally be fired at any time. We’re nervous about it often. Not like I’m sitting there upset every day. But enough that someone will make a random joke every now and then like oh, something happened. Well, what if we get fired? It is in the back of your mind because it does happen, and you know how the business works. But I actually was very surprised. It wasn’t on my radar. Then as I was telling the story of kind of how it led up to it, at first I was like, Yeah, I really didn’t have any notice. Then as I told the story, I was like wait, maybe I could have taken some of those as signs that something could have been coming. But also things change so often. If every time something got pushed, or every time we didn’t travel I went into a spiral thinking that we were gonna get fired, I wouldn’t have enjoyed my time. So I feel like I was surprised. It was a shock, but I had been there for so many years that I think that’s normal. So now I’m just working on really letting myself process it and kind of feel everything, figure out how I feel. So I’m not really sure. I’m bummed because I know that I have a lot more potential that I could have shown that I didn’t get to. But if I think about it, I could really say that about anything I’ve done. There is no top, there’s always more you can do. So I think I will come to terms with that. It’s just you kind of have to grieve it, appreciate it, be grateful. Be okay that it’s sad and then be kind of excited for whatever’s gonna come next.”
On whether she still wants to wrestle: “That’s a good question. I’m not sure. I’m gonna say I’m not sure, because it could go either way. I feel like most people, they know right away. The second it happens, they’re like, Okay, I’m doing this. I think part of it is because I didn’t wrestle beforehand. I never got those experiences that people who did are like, Okay, I’m gonna go back to that. I know that I wanna do that. For me, I feel like my whole adult life I’ve always really gone right from one challenge to the next. I did gymnastics for four years. I had a scholarship. I couldn’t really do anything else. I was really locked in. Right after I graduated, I went to American Ninja Warrior for five years. I was in contracts with them each season, which WWE took me right from there. I didn’t have any in between. I had to choose to leave, to go there. So eight years there, now I’m like, I really have never not been in a contract, and just thought what does Kacy want to do? And so I think that takes more than a week or two. I’m hoping it’s not just me that can’t figure it out, but I think it’s a really important question to ask myself and figure out. I know the core of things that I’m passionate about, but I think just what direction that’s gonna take me is gonna maybe take a little time.”
On signs that the release may have been coming: “So I didn’t realize there were clues until I was explaining how the last few weeks went, and then I was like, Okay, maybe? So we got moved from Raw to SmackDown in the switch-ups. So it wasn’t like a draft, but people were getting moved around. I’m like, Okay, well you always kind of have to take both sides. Everything that happens can feel like it’s a bad thing, and then I just won’t survive that way. So then I always have to try and make it positive. So we got moved from Raw to SmackDown. Originally, you’re like oh man, Raw just got moved to Netflix. That’s really big and now they’re taking us off of it. Is that bad? But then people are like, well, there’s more time on SmackDown, we want more storylines for you guys. Cool, that’s believable. I love that. So we get to SmackDown, there’s a big pay-per-view coming up, so the stories are all kind of already happening for the pay-per-view for the next two weeks. So we’re like, okay, we’re not doing anything yet. Again, makes sense. That’s how things happen. That totally makes sense. So then the pay-per-view passes. Now it’s another month or so, we’re pitching stuff. We’re pitching all the angles, sending storylines in, trying to get in. We’re trying to fit into what’s already happening, trying to pitch off the wall stuff that could be cool and different, whatever. So as it gets closer, now we’re getting to Mania season. So now it’s like a month before WrestleMania. We’re like, okay, I know that if something that we’re doing isn’t in WrestleMania, anything can happen, because everything has to lead up to that. Times get changed and stories need more time or get changed. So we were supposed to be leading to this six-woman tag with me, Lacey [Kayden Carter] and Zelina against Chelsea, Piper and Alba. So we’re like, okay, cool, it’ll be some tag stuff, some single stuff. This will be great. They start having their singles matches, which is supposed to lead to a tag, which is supposed to lead this, whatever. Things keep changing where it just keeps getting pushed. So they had a singles. The next week was supposed to be the six woman, then it didn’t happen. We were like, Oh, well will there be a backstage? But then it didn’t happen. Zelina had something, and we’re like, Oh, are we gonna be there with her? And they were like, no, no, we’re just gonna do this first. Then it was the week of WrestleMania and it was supposed to happen, and then the day before it got pushed. We were like, Okay, again, it’s WrestleMania weekend. Of course something more important having to do with the show happened. Not very weird. Move on.
Now we’re post WrestleMania, and there was a charity event that I do often with someone who has worked with NXT and with WWE. It wasn’t a WWE event, but they would let us go there. We weren’t signing anything. It was just for a good cause. I’ve done it for years, and one of the NXT girls that was invited had messaged me and said something to the effect of I can’t do it, and they’ll let me know why soon. I was like, sounds weird, but people are weird. Who knows? My boyfriend says, I wonder if it’s because they’re gonna do releases. I was like, but that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s not a WWE event, so they wouldn’t care. It wasn’t being posted anywhere, it was just for a good cause. I’m like, that’s weird. Then the person doing the charity event messaged me and said another wrestler was like, Oh, I wonder if releases are happening. I’m like, Okay, two people is weird. I actually made a joke to my boyfriend when he said it. I was like, if I get released, will you still love me? You know how girls are crazy? And he was like yes, of course. But I only made that joke because I didn’t actually think that it was happening. Then another joke is, if you get a 203 number because it’s a Connecticut area code, you’re in trouble. We didn’t travel that week, another sign. But I was like, Okay, we don’t have a story yet. No big deal.
So I’m working out in my garage, and I get a phone call, and it’s not a 203 number so I ignore it because I’m working out. Then it calls again. You know how sometimes it’s like, might be this person? It called a second time, and I was like, Okay. I look and it said, might be so and so. I was like, oh, no. I knew right away. I picked up the phone, and I was like, hello? Then I was like, Oh, this is it. I’ve thought about that moment so many times that when it happened, I felt like I wasn’t in my body. I was on the phone answering and then when I hung up, I was like, I feel like I should have said more or asked more questions. I think I was just like, okay, okay, bye. It’s such a weird feeling. So at the moment, I had no idea. Then as I retell the story, I’m like I was trying not to be like, negative and nervous. But as I say it, I’m like, okay, these were probably signs.”
On the moment that changed things: “I want to try to explain it correctly. I was struggling mentally, really struggling at the Performance Center, going back to what I said earlier, really feeling out of place, which just imagine if eight years later I feel that, how much I felt it one year in, and it being that different environment. So I really was struggling with that, and when I started to get physically better from this injury, I really had to make this choice of I either need to be all in and do this or not, I decided that I needed to change my mentality in order to succeed there. So with feeling out of place or feeling like I didn’t belong or I wasn’t good enough because I didn’t come from wrestling, I could either let that eat me up and essentially let me not accomplish this goal, or I can let let the feeling suck, feel that and not live in it and realize okay, I can have these insecurities, and this might be a rough road to go through, but I want to accomplish this, and I want to work hard enough to prove that I can do it, prove people wrong, prove myself wrong even, and go after it. I feel like once I told myself I was going to do this mental switch, I knew that if it didn’t work out, I would be okay that it didn’t work out, because then that meant that I really gave everything, and it would be okay if it wasn’t for me.”
