Building An All-Wrestler NFL Team (WWE, NXT & AEW Rosters)
(Writer’s Note: Be warned… this is a bit of a lengthy read. Close to 7,000 words for the main section, and over 8,200 words for the entire column. I get excited sometimes. My bad.)
Longtime readers of mine know exactly what’s going on here.
For everyone else, though, allow me to explain…
I love the NFL Draft.
Love it.
I’m about as big a Draft nerd as you’re ever going to meet. I’ve been known to live tweet the entire Draft, giving my own thoughts and analysis on everything that’s going on. If my favorite teams aren’t playing for their sport’s championship, the NFL Draft is my favorite sporting event of the year. Yes, that includes wrestling shows.
When the NFL Draft rolls around, I like to combine my love for football and love for wrestling, putting out a column like I’m about to do here… looking at the world of pro wrestling and trying to build an NFL roster from it. As I’ve said in the past, I know it isn’t hard-hitting journalism, but that’s not my job.
I wanted this column to line up during the week of this year’s Draft, but the topic of Dwayne Johnson and Paul Levesque possibly having a backstage power struggle was too important to ignore, so I had to push this one back a couple weeks.
I don’t do this column every year, but I do like to keep the same set of general rules and regulations for me to follow.
First, I’m only going to use names from the WWE, NXT, and AEW rosters. That makes things easier for you, the reader, to follow along with. It’s hard for me to sell you on why so-and-so would make for an amazing Quarterback if he’s some independent wrestler that only a small percentage of you have even heard of before.
When I say I’m using the WWE, NXT, and AEW rosters, I mean the current ones, with wrestlers that are active in the here and now. No Andre The Giant, Randy Savage, Shawn Michaels, and so on for my team.
Next, I try to make things as “realistic” as possible when it comes to a wrestler’s size (based on the height and weight they’re listed as online, “real” or not) and the position I’ll have them playing. You don’t see Quarterbacks that are seven feet tall and weigh 500 pounds, so you’re not going to see wrestlers of that size playing Quarterback here.
I also try not to focus too much on a wrestler’s past if he has a football background. Maybe he played a certain position during his football days, but I have him listed somewhere different. That might be because the wrestler has dropped a bunch of weight since their football days, or because the size “requirements” of the position are different now than when they played.
I’m going to craft a 53-man roster, as that’s the size of the rosters NFL teams are allowed to carry for regular season games. I’ll try to keep that authentic, as well. An NFL team isn’t going to have 15 Running Backs on the roster, so I won’t, either. The only difference for my team is that I won’t be including positions like Kicker, Punter, Long Snapper, or any Special Teams “demons,” because those aren’t as fun to work with.
Finally, age is irrelevant here. You’re not going to find many 45-year-olds playing in the NFL, but I might have some “older” names listed for my team. I’m only basing things on a wrestler’s size, speed, strength, athletic ability, temperament, and attributes like that. For the sake of the column, just picture every wrestler listed as being in their physical prime, whether they’re in their 20’s or their 40’s.
If you’re a reader that isn’t familiar with American football, don’t worry about that. I’ll try my best to explain everything I’m doing, and why I’m doing it, so that all of you can understand. This is supposed to be fun. Don’t read too much into why Wrestler A is on my team while Wrestler B isn’t. This has nothing to do with who my favorite wrestlers are, who I think are better wrestlers, blah blah blah.
I think I’ve explained enough right off the bat, so I won’t waste any more time. Let’s build a football team!
Offense (Singleback Formation – Starting Lineup of QB, RB, 3 WR, TE, 2 OT, 2 OG, C)
Not only is the Quarterback the most important position on a football roster, an argument can be made that it is the most important position in all of sports. It is almost impossible to succeed in football without solid QB play. That gets proven time and time again, at every level of the sport. The entire offense runs through the brain of the QB at all times. Because of that, I want someone smart. I want someone who is capable of having intricate, complex play calls in their head with no issue. For yet another year, I’m going to go with Xavier Woods as my starter. You want smart? The man possesses a Bachelor’s Degree, a Master’s Degree, and a Ph.D, as well. He’s 5’11” and 205 pounds, which would make him smaller than most NFL Quarterbacks. However, his size lines up perfectly with NFL QBs such as Russell Wilson (5’11”, 206), Kyler Murray (5’10”, 207), and Bryce Young (5’10”, 204), as well as one of the greatest QBs in NFL history, Drew Brees (6’0″, 209). As an added bonus, Woods would bring a level of speed and athleticism to the position, making him a true dual-threat player, capable of hurting opposing defenses with his arm or with his legs.
My backup Quarterback is someone who brings an incredible amount of leadership qualities to the table, which is very important for the position. He’s someone who remains cool under pressure, and rises to the occasion when the lights are the brightest. It seems like he and Woods are my QBs every year for this, but I’m going with Cody Rhodes. His listed measurements are 6’1″ and 222 pounds, which would still have him as a relatively small QB, even though he’s bigger than Xavier Woods. He would match up, size-wise, with NFL QBs like Tua Tagovailoa (6’1″, 225), Aaron Rodgers (6’2″, 223), Jalen Hurts (6’1″, 223), and Caleb Williams (6’1″, 215). You might be able to find a QB who is bigger, stronger, and/or faster than Cody, but his creative mind is going to make up for any measurable deficiencies.
Running Back is a position that features different “types” of player that can be successful. There are different preferences, based on player personnel and style, but you can win at the position with speed, power, or finding a happy medium between the two. In normal situations, such as if I’m playing a video game like Madden or NCAA Football, I prefer my starting RB to be more of a “scatback,” which means a smaller, lightning-quick runner. This isn’t a normal situation, though. My starting RB is someone who is probably the best blend of power, speed, and explosive athleticism in all of wrestling. On top of that, he’s someone who understands the Running Back position, as he was an RB in college, even signing with the NFL’s Baltimore Ravens as a rookie before eventually being cut in the preseason. My starter at the RB position is Bron Breakker, without a doubt. At 6’0″ and 250 pounds, he is much more in line with the size of the modern day blocking Fullback, but his size compares nicely to NFL RBs like Najee Harris (6’1″, 242), AJ Dillon (6’0″, 247), and Derrick Henry (6’2″, 247). I think Bron is more than strong enough to handle running inside, following his blocks between the Tackles, but also speedy and shifty enough to cut outside and break off a long run.
One of my backup RBs will be more of the “scatback” players I mentioned earlier. I’m going to go with Carmelo Hayes here. At 5’10” and 210 pounds, he isn’t the biggest guy in the world, but his speed and athletic ability are off the charts, and I love the swagger that he’d bring to the position. His size falls more in line with the modern NFL RB like Christian McCaffrey (5’11”, 210), Bijan Robinson (5’11”, 215), D’Andre Swift (5’9″, 215), Ashton Jeanty (5’9″, 215), and Alvin Kamara (5’10”, 215).
My next backup RB is someone who has shown repeatedly that he isn’t afraid to do whatever it takes to get the job done. He’s someone who has been blessed with the gifts of great speed and tremendous athletic ability, but has also shown that he can get down and dirty with the physical aspects of wrestling, too. Let’s rock with Swerve Strickland here. His measurements of 6’1″ and 220 pounds put him right up there with NFL RBs like Joe Mixon (6’1″, 220), Breece Hall (6’1″, 220), Chuba Hubbard (6’1″, 210), Omarion Hampton (6’0″, 220), and Rhamondre Stevenson (6’0″, 227).
My final backup RB would be my short-yard specialist, called upon to punch the football into the end zone or gain a tough yard or two on third down. He could also play Fullback if I needed an extra blocker on the field. I’m going with Brutus Creed in this spot. Fullback is the comparison to make here, as his listed size of 5’11” and 282 pounds would make him unlike any RB in NFL history. The closest current NFL players would be Fullbacks Patrick Ricard (6’3″, 300) and Scott Matlock (6’4″, 296). Former NFL Fullbacks like Reagan Maui’a (6’0″, 265), Le’Ron McClain (6’0″, 260), Vonta Leach (6’0″, 260), and Lorenzo Neal (5’11”, 255) are probably better comparisons to make. The younger Creed brother would bring great size, but also an incredible balance and a low center of gravity that was crafted during his years as a championship amateur wrestler.
The offensive formation I’m running features three starters at Wide Receiver, but each WR spot features distinct types of players with their own sets of unique skills. My first starter would be in the “X” spot, lined up on the outside of the formation. My personal preference for an “X” receiver is that they’re larger in size, as their placement at the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped allows for opposing Defensive Backs to try and “jam” the WR and assert their physicality to throw the WR off of their route. The largest WR on my team is someone who played the position in college, so he’s going to know what he’s doing out there. Trick Williams, come on down. He’s 6’4″ and 240 pounds, which would make him one of the biggest WRs in the NFL, but it matches him up with players at the position like DK Metcalf (6’4″, 235), Mike Evans (6’5″, 231), Michael Pittman (6’4″, 223), Allen Lazard (6’5″, 227), and Xavier Legette (6’3″, 227).
On the opposite end of my formation is my starting “Z” Wide Receiver. Unlike the “X” WR, a “Z” doesn’t have to line up right on the line of scrimmage as long as there are seven players overall lined up there. With my starting offense featuring five Offensive Linemen, a Tight End, and the “X” WR, that covers the seven players. With the “Z” WR not lining up in the same spots, it makes him a more difficult player to “jam,” and therefore, is often a smaller and faster player than who is at “X.” Let’s put Montez Ford in this spot. He’s one of the most electric athletes in all of wrestling. At 6’1″ and 232 pounds, he matches up with NFL Wide Receivers like AJ Brown (6’1″, 226), DeAndre Hopkins (6’1″, 218), Gabe Davis (6’2″, 225), and Laviska Shenault (6’1″, 225).
The final starting WR plays the “Slot” position. An ideal “Slot” WR is both lightning quick and tough as hell, as he will often find himself running routes over the middle of the field, leaving him much more susceptible to taking violent hits from opposing defenders and doesn’t have the same size as some of the other WRs on the roster. If I’m going to go with a smaller guy who is lightning quick, but still tough enough to handle the abuse of the position, I’m going with Finn Bálor. He’s 5’11” and 190 pounds, so he’s a good match to NFL WRs like Ladd McConkey (6’0″, 185), Garrett Wilson (6’0″, 183), Malik Nabers (6’0″, 200), Tyreek Hill (5’10”, 191), and Jayden Reed (5’11”, 187).
My backup Wide Receivers are a really good blend of players that would fit in with the three starting positions, depending on what I need at the time. Let’s go with Grayson Waller (6’2″, 204), Je’Von Evans (6’1″, 170), Chad Gable (5’8″, 202), Kyle Fletcher (6’3″, 205), and Kevin Knight (6’0″, 200). That’s an impressive group of playmakers right there.
Tight End is another schematic versatile position, where players are required to do different things, depending on what a team is looking to do offensively. Some offenses use a TE as, essentially, another Offensive Lineman, asking him to create spaces for the Running Back to run through, or to help keep the Quarterback safe from opposing pass rushers. Other offenses use a TE as something of a larger Wide Receiver, looking to create mismatches all over the field as a pass-catching weapon. My starting TE is someone I feel could succeed at either role. I’m going to go with Angelo Dawkins here. At 6’5″ and 260 pounds, he’s plenty big enough to handle blocking duties if need be, but he has shown that he is one of the most sneaky fast and athletic wrestlers in the business. His measurables match up nicely with current NFL TEs like Cole Kmet (6’6″, 260), Tucker Kraft (6’5″, 259), Tyler Warren (6’6″, 257), Travis Kelce (6’5″, 250), and Mike Gesicki (6’6″, 252).
My first backup TE is someone who is actually a bit small for the position. In fact, he has a listed weight that is lighter than two of my starting Wide Receivers. What sets this man apart, though, is his mean, nasty disposition and willingness to put himself in harm’s way to get the job done. I need someone like Jon Moxley here. He’s not a tiny man, but like I said, at 6’4″ and 225 pounds, that’s a bit small for the TE position in the NFL. His best current match is Brock Bowers, who is 6’4″ and 230 pounds. While Bowers is, arguably, the best pass-catching TE in the league, I’d have Mox out there looking to take the heads off of opposing defenders as a blocker as his main job.
The final backup TE on my roster is one of the strongest men that has ever graced a wrestling ring, but also possesses the speed and athletic ability to make him an absolute menace as one of the best hot tag recipients around. Let’s slot Claudio Castagnoli here. He’s 6’5″ and 232 pounds, so he’s a little light for the position, but his incredible strength will serve him well as he handles much larger opposing defenders. His measurables line up nicely with NFL TEs like the aforementioned Brock Bowers, Dalton Kincaid (6’4″, 240), and Oronde Gadsen II (6’5″, 236).
Let’s pay tribute to WCW now and switch things to where the big boys play. Offensive Tackle is a position that has different roles, depending on what side of the formation they line up on. A right-handed Quarterback requires his left OT to be his “blind side” blocker to keep heat-seeking missiles on defense from burying him in the turf, and obviously that switches when you have a left-handed QB. The opposite OT is usually tasked to handle opening the way for Running Backs for plays called to the “strong side,” where there are usually more players lined up. My first starter is someone who you could probably line up anywhere on the field and he would succeed, and even if he didn’t, failure would be too afraid of him to bother him. Give me Oba Femi here. He’s 6’6″ and 310 pounds, and possesses the type of power you need to handle multiple blocking roles, but is also nimble and athletic enough to succeed in traffic and in the natural flow of plays. That size matches up nicely with NFL OT’s such as Ronnie Stanley (6’6″, 310), Olu Fashanu (6’6″, 312), Jake Matthews (6’5″, 309), and Christian Darrisaw (6’5″, 315).
On the other side of the line, I’m going with someone who is a little lighter than many players at this position in the NFL, but it shouldn’t affect him much. He’s another “big man” with tons of athleticism that will allow him to achieve whatever it is I need him to achieve in my offense. I’m going to go ahead and put Brody King here. Like I said, he’s a little lighter than the average OT is, but at 6’6″ and 285 pounds, he’s pretty close in measurements to NFL OTs like Brady Christensen (6’6″, 300), Garett Bolles (6’5″, 300), Joe Noteboom (6’5″, 300), and Colton McKivitz (6’6″, 301). I think Brody’s mean streak and power game would more than make up for his “lack” of overall size.
For my first backup Offensive Tackle, I’m going for one thing… height. Give me Erick Rowan, and I’ll be happy. At 6’8″ and 315 pounds, he would be one of the tallest players in the NFL, but his size still matches up with NFL OTs like Spencer Brown (6’8″, 311), Ozzy Trapilo (6’8″, 309), Mike McGlinchey (6’8″, 315), Tyler Guyton (6’7″, 322), and Matt Peart (6’7″, 318). If I were to have a concern here, it would be the nine-inch height difference between Rowan and my starting Quarterback, Xavier Woods. It’s very rare to see such a height difference between a QB and one of his linemen, as it could make passing lanes difficult for Woods to see with the massive Rowan standing in front of him. It’s a risk I’m willing to take on, though.
I’d have a similar issue with my next backup Offensive Tackle, who has the same listed height as Rowan, but is a bit lighter. Lance Archer would be a good addition to my roster here. At 6’8″ and 298 pounds, he makes for an interesting size comparison to the NFL, as you don’t really see players of that height under 300 pounds very often. The closest comparisons in the NFL right now are OTs Blake Freeland (6’7″, 302) and Stone Forsythe (6’8″, 307). What Archer “lacks” in weight, he more than makes up for in a mean streak, though.
For my final OT, I’m going to cheat a bit. My rules state that I’m only using wrestlers on the WWE, NXT, and AEW rosters. After struggling to find another wrestler that would truly fit in as an Offensive Tackle, I decided to go with someone who is under WWE contract, but it’s a Legends contract, not an active talent one. It’s my column, and I’ll bend the rules if I want to! I’m going with The Godfather here. He’s 6’6″ and 330 pounds, giving me another mountain of a man to trot out there as a blocker. It matches him up, size-wise, to NFL OTs like Penei Sewell (6’5″, 335), Darnell Weight (6’6″, 333), and Tyler Guyton (6’7″, 322).
It’s time to move inside on the line now, moving to Offensive Guard. Guards are incredibly important, simply based on the versatility that the position requires. They’re often lined up against the biggest, beefiest members of the defense, so size and strength is a necessity. At the same time, Guards are often asked to handle “pull” blocks on runs to the outside, which means they need good footwork and athleticism. My first starter immediately pops into my mind when I think of wrestlers who possess a bit more heft, but are also surprisingly quick and agile. Give me Ivar here. At a listed size of 6’2″ and 350 pounds, he would be somewhat unique as an NFL player, as he is a tad shorter than the average Guard, and weighs a tad more at the same time. Mike Onwenu (6’3″, 350) is a near match, though, so Ivar does have a comparison.
My other starting OG is very similar to Ivar in a lot of ways. They’re almost the exact same listed size, and they have a similar blend of strength and agility that should serve them well in a spot like this. Let’s go with Keith Lee here. I’d give him the edge over Ivar in the strength department, while Ivar’s footwork and speed is probably better, so Ivar would probably be better suited to handle those “pull” blocks I mentioned. Since both of my starting OGs are about the same size (Lee is 6’2″ and 340 pounds), I won’t bother to make size comparisons for NFL players here.
My first backup OG is someone who provides some more of that mean streak I like to have on the Offensive Line. Not that Ivar and Keith Lee don’t have a mean streak, but Toa Liona is someone who seems like he’d thrive off of blocking people and knocking them flat on their asses. At 6’4″ and 301 pounds, he’s a size match for NFL Guards like Chris Lindstrom (6’3″, 307), Ed Ingram (6’3″, 307), Patrick Mekari (6’4″, 305), and Wyatt Bowles (6’5″, 300).
For my final backup OG, I’m going to have to cheat again. Like I did with The Godfather, I’m going to dip in and grab someone under a WWE Legends deal right now. I’d prefer not to do that, but sometimes, it’s a necessary evil. I’m going with Bubba Ray Dudley here. At 6’3″ and 280 pounds, he’s a very unique size comparison, as he’s much smaller than NFL Guards tend to be. However, he’s an almost perfect match to Dylan Parham (6’3″, 285), so it isn’t unheard of.
Moving even more inside, we get to Center. The most important aspect of the Center’s job is the snap the football to the Quarterback on every single play. He’s also the “leader” of the Offensive Line far more often than not, and is usually the one responsible for making adjustments for the entire line based on how the defense is lined up pre-snap. You want your Center to be incredibly strong, as he lines up opposite of players like the Nose Tackle, who is the biggest and strongest man on the defensive side of the ball. I’m going to cheat again here, going back to the WWE Legends deals. If you’re looking for someone with incredible strength, why not go to The World’s Strongest Man? Mark Henry is my pick here. At 6’4″ and 360 pounds, he presents another unique size comparison for the NFL, but Centers like Cooper Beebe (6’4″, 335) and Jackson Powers-Johnson (6’3″, 334) are relatively close. Good luck to opposing Defensive Lineman trying to push this guy around.
My backup Center is someone on an active roster! Hooray! While his size and strength are impressive, I’m choosing this man for his intelligence and leadership qualities, as well. For this spot, I’m going to go with Shane Taylor. He’s 6’1″ and 315 pounds, making him one of my smaller Offensive Linemen, but he still matches up nicely with an NFL Center like Tyler Linderbaum (6’2″, 314).
Thank you for reading this far. I know it’s a journey, but we’re on that journey together.
We’ve looked at my offense, but now, let’s take a look at my defense.
Defense (4-3 Formation – Starting Lineup of 2 DE, 2 DT, 2 OLB, MLB, 2 CB, FS, SS)
Defensive End might be the most important position on the defensive side of the ball. Their primary job is to get to the Quarterback. At worst, they can disrupt the timing of a passing play, but at best, they’re going to knock the QB on his ass for a sack. In a 4-3 (four Defensive Linemen and three Linebackers) formation like I have here, your Ends are strong enough to handle the Offensive Tackle they’re lined up against, but also fast and athletic enough to win their battles in any number of ways. The best Ends are going to win with power, speed, athletic ability, intelligence, and whatever else it takes. For my first starter, give me someone who knows the position because he played it a bit (as well as Defensive Tackle) in college. I’m taking Roman Reigns here. Even as a grizzled veteran, he remains an explosive athlete, and that should serve him well on my squad. At 6’3″ and 265 pounds, he’s a great size match for NFL DEs such as Myles Garrett (6’4″, 272), Dante Fowler (6’3″, 261), Trey Hendrickson (6’4″, 270), and Nick Bosa (6’4″, 266).
For my other starting Defensive End spot, I’m going to go with someone who has hands the size of frying pans and uses them to hit… well… like frying pans. One of a Defensive End’s best pass rush moves starts with his initial punch that, when used effectively, can jolt an Offensive Lineman back, giving the DE an advantage right off the bat. If I’m looking for someone who uses his hands as lethal weapons, I’m looking for Gunther. He might not possess the overall speed that see from other Defensive Ends, but like I said before, there are a bunch of different ways to win at the position. His initial punches are going to be effective as all hell. At 6’4″ and 250 pounds, he matches up with NFL Defensive Ends like Micah Parsons (6’3″, 245), Will Anderson (6’4″, 243), Samson Ebukam (6’3″, 245), and Maxx Crosby (6’5″, 255).
My first backup DE is someone who has the right combination of size, strength, speed, and athletic ability to be successful at the possession. At the same time, though, he has a very successful amateur wrestling background that means he understands leverage and the “low man wins” mindset for football. Let me go with Bobby Lashley here. He’s 6’3″, 273 pounds, and looks like he was chiseled out of granite. That’s the kind of player I need on the squad. Because his measurables are so similar to Roman Reigns, I won’t bother with NFL comparisons.
For my next backup DE, I’m looking for a scrapper. Someone mean and nasty, who isn’t afraid of a fight. He’s not the biggest or the strongest guy around, but he’s looking to beat you up, and he isn’t worried about picking up some cuts and bruises of his own along the way. Give me Sheamus here, and he’ll unleash hell on opposing Quarterbacks. I don’t need to make a size comparison here, either, as Sheamus is 6’3″ and 267 pounds, making him almost the same size as Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley.
My final backup DE is very similar to Sheamus in a lot of ways. They come from a similar area of the world. They’re both incredibly tough, physical performers who don’t mind being on the receiving end of a fight as long as they can dish some pain out themselves. Let’s rock with Drew McIntyre in this spot. He’s someone that is going to be an absolute menace on the field, looking to hurt any and every person he sees with a football in their hands. At 6’5″ and 275 pounds, he’s slightly larger than the rest of my Defensive Ends, but his size matches up well with NFL players at the position like Greg Rousseau (6’6″, 266), Rashan Gary (6’5″, 277), and Travon Walker (6’5″, 272).
We started things off on the outside of the Defensive Line, so now, it’s time to switch to the inside with the Defensive Tackle position. These guys are generally larger than their Defensive End brethren, as they’re often lined up against double and even triple-team blocks. A DT’s job can be different, depending on a scheme and/or preference of a coaching staff. Some are pass rushers up the middle. Others are monsters against the run, seemingly daring teams to run the ball at them and see what happens. You even have some Defensive Tackles that are there to eat up those aforementioned double and triple-team blocks, clearing the path for their fellow defenders to have easier access to the man holding the football in his hands. My first starter at DT is someone who I think can handle any of those tasks. He might not be a huge man by NFL Defensive Tackle standards, but he’s plenty big, plenty mean, and plenty tough enough to handle anything thrown at him. I’ll take Jacob Fatu here, please. At 6’2″ and 285 pounds, his size, as I mentioned, is a bit small for an NFL DT. However, he matches up nicely with current NFL Defensive Tackles like Ed Oliver (6’1″, 287) and Jer’Zhan Newton (6’2″, 295). An even better comparison might be Aaron Donald, who is one of the greatest defensive players in NFL history, and played with a listed size of 6’1″ and 280 pounds. A “lack” of size isn’t going to hurt Jacob Fatu here.
My other starter at Defensive Tackle is someone who is deceptively quick and agile for his size, while still being an absolute monster of a man. The pick here is Bronson Reed. If you need him to bulldoze as a pass rusher, he can do it, and the same goes for him being an annoyance against the run. At 6’0″ and 330 pounds, his size matches up with NFL Defensive Tackles like Jamaree Caldwell (6’1″, 340) and JJ Pegues (6’2″, 325).
For my first backup DT, I’m going to go back to someone who may not exactly have the prototypical body for an NFL player at the position. However, this man’s low center of gravity and successful amateur wrestling background, combined with his impressive strength, should serve him well. I’m going with Otis here. As I said, he might not look like your prototypical NFL DT. He’s 5’10” and 330 pounds, which makes a size comparison very difficult. Currently, Poona Ford (5’11”, 310) is as close as it gets in the NFL, but he’s about to start his eighth season in the league, so it’s certainly doable for Otis.
My final backup DT spot goes to someone who has the mass required to be an NFL Defensive Tackle (perhaps just barely, though), but he’s also someone who is a bit taller than his other teammates at this position on my roster. Let’s rock with Bronco Nima here. At 6’5″ and 300 pounds, he towers over his teammates in the DT room. That size matches up nicely with NFL Defensive Tackles like Chris Jones (6’6″, 310), Christian Wilkins (6’4″, 310), and Maason Smith (6’5″, 306). I like the variety that I’m getting out of the players at this position.
Speaking of variety and versatility, it’s time to move on to the Outside Linebacker position. Different coaches use different schemes, and those different schemes require Outside Linebackers to do different things. In some defensive packages, an OLB is used as a pass rusher, working as a blitzer to provide additional pressure on the Quarterback. Other packages see the OLB being used in pass coverage, working against Running Backs, Tight Ends, or Wide Receivers. My first starting OLB is someone who is deceptively large, but also deceptively fast. He’s someone who had dreams of being in the 2020 Olympics as a decathlete at one point. Let’s go with Konosuke Takeshita. He’s 6’2″ and 251 pounds, with those decathlon dreams? That shouldn’t be fair. His size matches up nicely with NFL Outside Linebackers like Kyle Van Noy (6’3″, 255), Arnold Ebiketie (6’2″, 250), Byron Young (6’2″, 258), Jonathan Greenard (6’3″, 259), and Harold Landry (6’2″, 252). As a physically larger OLB, I’d have Takeshita play the “Sam” position, lining up on the strong side of the offensive formation.
The other starting OLB on my roster will play the “Will” position, lining up on the “weak” side of the offensive formation. While he’s a physically smaller man than Konosuke Takeshita, he is one of wrestling’s top combinations of size, strength, speed, and athletic ability. That will help him in blitz packages, going after the Quarterback, or in coverage duties against various pass catching options. I need someone like Apollo Crews here. He’s 6’1″ and 240 pounds, and that puts him right in line with NFL Outside Linebackers like Nick Herbig (6’2″, 240) and Nolan Smith (6’2″, 238).
For my first backup OLB spot, I’m going with someone that, realistically, could’ve been placed at any number of positions on the roster. He’s one of the greatest pure athletes that the sport of pro wrestling has ever seen. I have him here because I simply wanted more athleticism out of my LB corps. That’s why Shelton Benjamin gets the nod. His speed, agility, and that championship amateur wrestling background are going to make him a fun addition to the group. At 6’2″ and 248 pounds, he’s almost the exact same size as Konosuke Takeshita, so I don’t need to bother making NFL size comparisons.
My other backup OLB spot goes to someone who knows the Linebacker position well, because he played there in high school and for a brief stint in college. He has always been able to showcase his athletic ability in the ring, but it’s also in his DNA to be rough, tough, and physical. Sounds like a good pick here, so give me Jimmy Uso. Sure, I could’ve gone with his brother, Jey, or even his brother, Solo Sikoa, but I went with Jimmy because he’s the overall largest of the three. He’s 6’3″ and 251 pounds, which makes him very similar in size to Konosuke Takeshita and Shelton Benjamin, so no need to make NFL size comparisons here, either.
Let’s switch it over to Middle Linebacker now. On many teams, the MLB is the “leader” of the defense, and is basically the Quarterback of that side of the ball, calling the shots for his teammates. They aren’t exactly known for their participation in blitz packages, but they need to be big and strong to contribute against the run, while also being athletic enough to drop back into coverage and play the pass, as well. My starter at MLB is going to be Randy Orton. He’s listed at 6’5″ and 275 pounds, and I’ll use those numbers, but we all know he’s probably a bit heavier than that right now. That size makes him larger than any current MLB on an NFL roster, with the closest comparisons being Tremaine Edmunds (6’5″, 250) and Jack Campbell (6’5″, 243). NFL Hall Of Famer Brian Urlacher played MLB at 6’4″ and 258 pounds, so it’s not like Orton is completely on another planet with his size. I think his intelligence and newfound leadership skills will really come in handy for my defense.
My backup MLB is someone who will forever be linked to my starter at the position, so I felt it was only right to connect them here, too. Let’s go with John Cena. John’s leadership qualities would be very beneficial for my defense. At 6’1″ and 251 pounds, he’s obviously much smaller than Orton. However, that places him smack dab in line with NFL Middle Linebackers like Bobby Wagner (6’0″, 241), Demario Davis (6’2″, 248), and Jahlani Tavai (6’2″, 255).
Next, it’s time to move on to the defensive secondary, starting with the Cornerback position. These are the guys responsible for covering the opposing team’s Wide Receivers. The ideal Cornerback is fast, incredibly athletic, and possesses great instincts. He needs to run with Wide Receivers without knowing their routes, and he needs to know how to keep an eye on the Quarterback and the football while doing so. Everything at CB is fast-paced, white-knuckle action, and it’s a position that requires a lot of swagger. That sounds like Will Ospreay to me, making him my first starting CB. His matches are a showcase of fast-paced, white-knuckle action that feature the athleticism, speed, instincts, and swagger that I need for my defense. He’s 6’1″ and 220 pounds, which makes him a bit heavier than the NFL Cornerbacks of today’s game. However, he matches up with Cornerbacks of the last 20-30 years like Charles Woodson (6’1″, 210), Aqib Talib (6’1″, 209), and Nnamdi Asomugha (6’2″, 210).
My other starting CB is someone who has been blowing people away with his speed and athletic ability for well over a decade-and-a-half now. Kofi Kingston has everything I want and need out of a Cornerback to be successful, so I’m choosing him. He’s 6’0″ and 212 pounds, putting him closer in line to NFL Cornerbacks like Jalen Ramsey (6’1″, 208), Pat Surtain II (6’2″, 202), and Tyrique Stevenson (6’0″, 204).
For my first backup Cornerback, I’m going to lose some size, but keep that lightning quick style of play that I need. I’ll have Ricochet in this spot. At 5’9″ and 188 pounds, he’s one of the smallest men on my entire roster, but I don’t see that being a problem here. His measurables match up nicely with NFL Cornerbacks like DJ Reed (5’9″, 188), Jaire Alexander (5’10”, 196), Marcus Jones (5’8″, 188), and Donte Jackson (5’10”, 180).
My next backup CB has the speed and athleticism that the position requires, but his best trait here is absolutely his cocky arrogance and his competitive nature. He’s going to piss some opponents (and probably some teammates) off, but I’m going with Logan Paul here. He’s 6’2″ and 205 pounds, making him a size match for NFL Cornerbacks like Derek Stingley (6’1″, 195), Trevon Diggs (6’2″, 195), Will Johnson (6’2″, 202), and Martin Emerson (6’2″, 201). He’s going to be able to get under the skin of opposing Wide Receivers, and you need players like that sometimes.
My next backup CB spot is going to someone with lots of sporting accomplishments in his life. He’s a World Champion and an Olympian, which tells you all about the type of athletic ability he’s bringing to the team. I’m going with Tavion Heights here. The body control that a Cornerback needs is something that he can excel at as a world class amateur wrestler. He’s 6’2″ and 214 pounds, making him close enough in size to Will Ospreay and Logan Paul, so I won’t bother with NFL size comparisons here.
My final backup Cornerback is someone whose character work has been so good that his physical traits often get overlooked. He’s a third-generation wrestler, and his father specifically is one of the greatest high-flyers that the sport has ever seen. That has already shown in the work of Dominik Mysterio, and his athletic ability is very impressive. At 6’1″ and 200 pounds, he’s in a similar space as most of my other Cornerbacks, so I won’t do the NFL size comparisons here, either.
Next up is the Strong Safety position. In a 4-3 defense, like the one my team would be running, your Strong Safety is a physical presence in the defensive backfield. He is required to be active against the run, which means he needs to be large enough to handle that type of assignment, but he also needs to be capable of pass coverage against Tight Ends and Wide Receivers across the middle of the field. When I think of everything I need my Strong Safety to accomplish, I think of Julius Creed. The man is an absolute freak of nature, capable of jaw-dropping feats of strength and jaw-dropping feats of athleticism at any moment. He’s big and strong enough to handle working against the run, but also fast and athletic enough to handle working against the pass. At 6’3″ and 229 pounds, he’s a bit taller and heavier than the average player at the position, but he still matches up nicely with NFL Strong Safeties like Kyle Hamilton (6’4″, 224), Nick Emmanwori (6’3″, 227), and Jeremy Chinn (6’3″, 220).
My backup Strong Safety is someone who has shown, time and time again, that he isn’t afraid of any type of physicality. Whether it’s the hardcore style of wrestling, or the Japanese Puroresu style of insanely stiff action, Kenny Omega isn’t going to shy away from the dirty stuff. I need that out of my Strong Safeties. He’s 6’0″ and 224 pounds, he’s slightly heavier than the Strong Safeties in the NFL, but close enough to be in line with players like Kyle Dugger (6’1″, 216), Jaden Hicks (6’1″, 215), and Tony Jefferson (5’11”, 212).
Finally, it’s time to look at the Free Safety position. While the Strong Safety often plays close to the line of scrimmage, the Free Safety is usually lined up in the vicinity of ten yards away. He is literally and figuratively the last line of defense against opposing ballcarriers that have managed to get beyond the Defensive Line, Linebackers, and the rest of the Secondary. A good Free Safety needs to be smart and physical enough to be counted on as a sure tackler. He needs to be able to handle coverage assistance for Cornerbacks who have been beaten on a route, or even to handle coverage of his own against offensive schemes that feature extra Wide Receivers. My starter at FS is going to be Seth Rollins. He has a wonderful mind that always seems to be thinking multiple steps ahead of everyone else, and I trust his physicality to handle the tackling aspect of football. At 5’11” and 225 pounds, he’s also slightly heavier than the Free Safeties you see in the NFL, but positive size comparisons can be made with players like Jabrill Peppers (5’11”, 217), Kevin Byard (5’11”, 212), and CJ Gardner-Johnson (5’11”, 210).
The final member of my team will be my backup Free Safety, and he’s someone who also has the necessary intelligence and occasional disregard for his own safety to succeed. I’m going to give this spot to “Hangman” Adam Page. A college graduate that went on to become a full-time teacher for several years? Check. A maniac that has participated in some of the most horrifically violent moments in AEW history? Check. At 6’1″ and 215 pounds, he fits right in with NFL Free Safeties like Malik Hooker (6’2″, 212), Lathan Ransom (6’1″, 210), and Bryan Cook (6’1″, 206).
Man, it took a while to get here, but we’ve reached the end of my roster. What did you think? Did I make a mistake by leaving a particular person off of the team? Do you love or hate any of the selections I did make? As always, feel free to drop me a line in the comments section below, or on Bluesky (@aaronhyden.bsky.social), and let me know what’s on your mind.
Now, let’s get to my Weekly Power Rankings, before closing things out for the week like I always do… with the list of songs I was listening to as I put this very column together.
Weekly Power Rankings
Jey Uso vs Seth Rollins: As I’ve said before, one thing that is going to make Jey’s World Title reign fun is how vulnerable he’s going to be. He won’t be booked as an unstoppable monster that looks like he’ll hold the title for over a year. That adds extra drama to his title defenses. It was especially so here, as Rollins looks like he’s going to be a menace during his new alliance with Paul Heyman and Bron Breakker. This was a pay-per-view main event quality match in front of a super hot, appreciative crowd.
Lyra Valkyria vs Becky Lynch: A great blend of technical wrestling and super hard-hitting action. Lyra has been fantastic since being called up to the main roster, putting on some really fun in-ring performances. She’s even building a connection with live crowds now, which makes her future insanely bright.
John Cena vs Randy Orton: Both men were able to turn back the clock here, putting on some vintage performances. A red hot hometown crowd for Orton made it even more enjoyable. This was everything it needed to be. Even the overbooking of the second half of the match made sense.
The Street Profits vs FrAxiom: Nathan Frazer and Axiom are off to quite the start as members of the Smackdown roster. They’ve won three matches in a row, including this non-title victory over the WWE Tag Team Champions. I would assume this means we’ll be getting a rematch soon, this time with the titles on the line, and I’m all for it.
Jacob Fatu vs LA Knight vs Damian Priest vs Drew McIntyre: A fun, wild brawl to open up Backlash, and the crowd enjoyed every minute of it. Sometimes, you don’t need much more than that.
Swerve Strickland, Mark Briscoe & “Speedball” Mike Bailey vs The Young Bucks & Ricochet: Tons of spots, and lots of crowd-pleasing moments. Sometimes, you don’t need much more than that.
Pat McAfee vs Gunther: Honestly, this told the perfect story. Yes, in a “normal” situation, Gunther would’ve defeated McAfee in two minutes or less. However, it was clear that he wasn’t taking the match, or his opponent, seriously. That allowed McAfee to keep making mini-comebacks, although nothing that Gunther couldn’t shut down relatively quickly. We would be having a completely different conversation right now if Pat beat the hell out of Gunther for minutes at a time. This was a lot more fun than it probably had any business being.
Iyo Sky vs Roxanne Perez: Iyo may very well be the WWE MVP over the first four-plus months of the year. She has been doing an incredible job with everything she does. Roxanne, despite some head-scratching booking, continues to show that she is the future of the company’s women’s division.
Jordynne Grace vs Giulia: Super hard-hitting stuff here. Giulia is very lucky that she avoided serious injury on more than one occasion, being dumped on her head/neck area once and damn near having it done again later in the match.
Samoa Joe vs Claudio Castagnoli: I felt like I was watching RoH Gut Check or Weekend Of Champions Night Two here for a bit. This was a fun treat for old school Ring Of Honor fans, watching two of the greatest that the promotion has unleashed on the wrestling world battling each other once again.
Big E: While I’m still sad that he hasn’t been able to return to the ring, I am eternally grateful that he continues to find happiness in life. He has found love, as well, revealing that he is engaged to be married. Congratulations to him, and also to his bride-to-be, Kris Yim, the sister of WWE’s Mia Yim/Michin.
Dominik Mysterio vs Penta: Even though WWE hasn’t capitalized on the amazing face reaction Dominik got at WrestleMania, live crowds are still cheering for him. When he finally turns face for real, some arena is going to come unglued. I can’t believe I typed that, and I really can’t believe that I meant every word of it.
Aleister Black vs Carmelo Hayes: I’m not sure what Aleister Black’s ceiling is in WWE, due to his character not getting a chance to showcase more than one note when it comes to his promos. However, I’m entertained as I watch his journey to whatever that ceiling is.
Alexa Bliss: Hey, Triple Paul H. Levesque remembered that Alexa exists! Hooray! Hopefully, it’s less than a couple months until we see her again.
Penta vs JD McDonagh: It feels like Penta has been feuding with The Judgment Day since 1972, but at least there are a lot of good matches to have between them.
Sheamus vs Austin Theory: A-Town Down Under are the latest in a long line of tag teams that are clearly headed for a split, but that potential split gets dragged out and drawn out forever and a day. I still think there’s a ton of potential in a singles face run for Austin Theory, but we’ll see.
Paul Heyman: He cut a fiery, passionate promo that explained why he turned his back on both Roman Reigns and CM Punk. The promo itself was great, but what made it even better is that his logic was really solid. Even as a heel, his explanation made perfect sense, and you understand why he turned on both of them. Paul is an old pro. He’s great at this kind of stuff.
Jeff Cobb: He got a really nice reaction from the St. Louis crowd upon his debut, and he’s now involved in the Bloodline story. Whether you like the story at this point or not, it’s guaranteed to get him lots of attention and television time. Now we’ll see if his work can justify that attention and television time in the eyes of WWE management and WWE fans.
“Timeless” Toni Storm vs Thunder Rosa vs Penelope Ford vs Anna Jay: Toni Storm having such a lengthy history of winning Eliminator Matches is cool and all, but it shows a laziness in Tony Khan’s booking. She shouldn’t be in 84 million of those matches to begin with. All of the champions in AEW just end up competing in endless Eliminators. Just defend the title! It’s not difficult, TK.
Kris Statlander vs Willow Nightingale: The latest rumor is that Willow’s AEW contract expires in “a few months.” While she would obviously be someone who could be successful in WWE or anywhere else, I think she’s someone who should stay with AEW if it’s an available and beneficial option for her. I don’t know if I have faith in WWE pushing her properly, no matter how good she is in the ring.
Andrade & Rey Fenix vs Angel & Berto: Week 1,092 of me demanding WWE give Angel and Berto names other than “Angel” and “Berto.” They deserve better. We all deserve better.
Joe Hendry, Hank Walker & Tank Ledger vs Dion Lennox, Osiris Griffin & Cutler James: Joe Hendry, the TNA World Champion, teaming up with Hank & Tank, the NXT Tag Team Champions… that’s such a strange group. Enjoyable, but strange nonetheless.
Kelani Jordan vs Zaria: The “odd couple” pairing of Sol Ruca and Zaria has really grown on me. They’re both doing a good job with it. It’s going to be a real shame when Zaria inevitably turns heel and removes Sol’s head from her shoulders.
This Week’s Playlist: “Look To Windward” by Sleep Token… “Emergence” by Sleep Token… “Past Self” by Sleep Token… “Dangerous” by Sleep Token… “Caramel” by Sleep Token… “Provider” by Sleep Token… “Damocles” by Sleep Token… “Gethsemane” by Sleep Token… “Baby Mad At Me” by That Mexican OT & Lil Wayne… “Apologies” by Three Days Grace… “Money Habits” by Key Glock… “Going Hard” by Key Glock… “Kiss Me Now” by Pierce The Veil… “3200 Diamonds” by G Perico… “Sacred” by Parkway Drive… “Frozen” by Bridges Ablaze… “Around Again” by Acres… “Souls Devoured” by Shadows Fall… “Cluck Cluck” by The Product G&B & Wyclef Jean… “Dschinghis Khan” by Dschinghis Khan… “I Like The Way (The Kissing Game)” by Hi-Five… “I Can’t Wait Another Minute” by Hi-Five… “She’s Playing Hard To Get” by Hi-Five… “Quality Time” by Hi-Five… “Never Should’ve Let You Go” by Hi-Five… “Unconditional Love” by Hi-Five… “I Like” by Montell Jordan & Slick Rick… “Losing My Mind” by Mike Posner… “Please Don’t Go” by Mike Posner… “Bow Chicka Wow Wow” by Mike Posner & Lil Wayne… “305 Anthem” by Pitbull & Lil Jon… “Culo” by Pitbull & Lil Jon… “Toma” by Pitbull & Lil Jon… “Dirty” by Pitbull & Bun B… “Dammit Man” by Pitbull & Piccallo… “Umbrella” by Rihanna & Jay-Z… “Cryin” by Aerosmith… “No Rain” by Blind Melon… “Gone Away” by The Offspring… “Want You Bad” by The Offspring
