WWE WrestleMania 42 Saturday Review
Well… here we are.
After a non-stop week of action, with what seems like every independent wrestler on the planet working in the greater Las Vegas area, WrestleMania is finally upon us.
There has been a lot to like about the build that got us here, and… there has been a lot to wish was better. No matter which side of the fence you’re on, it’s time to watch everything unfold.
Allegiant Stadium in Paradise, Nevada is the host for WrestleMania once again. Three-and-a-half hours before the start of the show, WrestleTix posted that there were 1,322 tickets still available, with 50,386 tickets already distributed. I have no idea if the show will be an official sellout, but there are still a ton of people in the building, and I fully expect things to sound like it, too.
I’m ready.
Are you ready?
If I’m ready, and if you’re ready, then it’s time to have some fun.
The show officially begins with the arrival of John Cena, who is the Host of this year’s show. He is dressed very nicely, and he tells Stu the Cameraman that they aren’t going to run down the ramp this time. About three-quarters of the way down the ramp, though, Cena proves himself to be a dirty LIAR, because he runs the rest of the way to the ring. That son of a bitch!
LA Knight & The Usos vs Logan Paul, Austin Theory & iShowSpeed – Six-Man Tag Match
I have no idea what to expect from Speed here, but what I do know is that, whether any of you like it or not, there are going to be A LOT of extra eyes on this match. Speed has nearly 53 million subscribers on YouTube, 51 million followers on TikTok, 47 million followers on Instagram, and is a huge name in the world of social media influencers.
With his red cape on, Speed is coming to the ring looking like Danhausen fell asleep in the tanning bed. That’s quite the choice.
The opening bell is heard 15 minutes after the top of the hour, and The Usos drop both Logan and Theory with Superkicks, leaving Knight and Speed to start the match.
Speed drops Knight with a bodyslam and begins to celebrate, but Knight gets back up immediately. Funny.
I’m pretty sure one of my cousins is in the crowd right now. As soon as Jey Uso tagged in, one voice can be heard yelling out “CHEEEEE HOOOOO” again and again, and they aren’t stopping for Jimmy Uso, either.
Logan says it’s time for Speed to “prove himself,” so he tags Speed in. He and Theory tell Speed to hit Jimmy with a Suplex, and try to teach him how to do it, but Jimmy suplexes Speed first. Logan looks disappointed, and he tags himself back in. Again… funny.
Well, there wasn’t a ton to that one. Clocking in at about seven minutes long, Knight drops Theory with the BFT and gets the pin. The story of the match was that Speed was relatively incompetent, but also that Logan and Theory are complete morons for continuing to trust him to do things that he wasn’t capable of doing.
After the match, Logan berates Speed for screwing everything up, and then drops Speed with a punch to the jaw. Logan puts Speed on the announce table, and he goes to perform his elbow through the table, but he is stopped by The Usos, who drop him with a 1D. LA Knight puts Logan on the table instead, and the face trio convince Speed to go up top. He ends up hitting Logan with a beautiful Frog Splash from atop the turnbuckle.
As I said, there wasn’t much to this one. Seven minutes, and a good chunk of that was comedy bits involving Speed’s lack of size and experience. I can’t give this any more than 2.5 Stars, but at least the crowd seemed to care.
Jacob Fatu vs Drew McIntyre – Unsanctioned Match
Because my luck has been pretty bad recently, I had some streaming issues once again and ended up missing several minutes of this one. I don’t know how much of it exactly, but let’s put it this way… I watched about a minute or so, and then Fatu hit his Moonsault to put Drew through a table in the ring and pick up the victory.
I’m very disappointed that I missed it, but I am seeing on Twitter that the match was a very physical affair with a bit of a mixed bag on overall grades. Some enjoyed it, and others thought it was way too tame for who was involved, where it was, and what kind of match it was. I’ll have to go back and check it out later. Obviously, I won’t be giving a rating for this.
Nia Jax & Lash Legend vs Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss vs The Bella Twins vs Bayley & Lyra Valkyria – Fatal Four-Way for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles
Huge shout out to Lash and Nia, who are rocking Demolition outfits, only in all white. The masks, the chaps, the spikes… all of it. They look amazing. Unfortunately, they didn’t come out to much of a reaction from the crowd. Maybe the crowd didn’t recognize them, since they’re usually not covered up like that.
During the Bellas entrance, Nikki comes out with a crutch. She has a microphone, and she says that she wasn’t medically cleared to perform today. A suitable replacement has been found, though, and that brings us the return of Paige to a huge pop from the crowd. This is the first time Paige has been on WWE programming in nearly four years, and it’s her first time wrestling on WWE programming in nearly eight-and-a-half years.
In the first few minutes, there’s a lot of hectic action, but everyone in the crowd is waiting for Paige to get tagged in.
Right on cue, Paige tags in, and the place goes nuts. This WrestleMania crowd is very excited to see Paige back in WWE.
Nikki Bella attacks Charlotte at ringside with her crutch. Alexa Bliss, who was standing on the top rope, looking to hit Paige with Twisted Bliss, is distracted by the entire thing for long enough to allow Paige to get her knees up on the Twisted Bliss attempt. Seconds later, Paige drops Alexa with her RamPaige DDT, and we have brand new champions.
I have to admit… I’m really disappointed in the show so far. Like the show opener, this one didn’t last very long. It was better than the opener, but that’s not saying much. The eight women involved worked hard to cram as much action as they could in the limited time they were given, but it wasn’t enough for me to say this was anything more than 2.75 Stars.
Obviously, I missed one of the matches, but the other two matches would be labeled short if they took place on an episode of Raw or Smackdown. Being that length on WrestleMania is a shame. The two matches combined (according to Wikipedia) to last just under 16 minutes, and that’s with 14 wrestlers involved. This is insane.
AJ Lee vs Becky Lynch – WWE Women’s Intercontinental Title Match
I have a sneaking suspicion that this one isn’t going to be very long, either. WWE has been protecting the hell out of AJ since she returned, and I would expect that to continue here. Now that I said that, watch this one go 45 minutes.
For her entrance, AJ is accompanied to the ring by a bunch of adorable little girls dressed like her, holding replica titles and skipping their way down the ramp. As the father of a little girl, this is awesome to watch.
There are NUMEROUS technical issues taking place during the show, and this time, it doesn’t just seem to be an issue with my feed. I’ve seen a ton of tweets mentioning choppy video, audio issues, and so on. There has also been multiple times where even Michael Cole didn’t seem to know what was going on, and he’d start talking about something, stop halfway through, and then have to talk about something else instead. WWE and ESPN combine to be worth a quadrillion dollars or whatever the numbers are, so having issues like this are completely unacceptable. It doesn’t appear that my issues are as bad as others, but in every match, there has been at least one stretch of time where the audio is fine, but the video is in slow motion and it looks like I’m watching a match frame-by-frame.
Sure enough, it was another match that ended up being relatively short. More than half the match was Becky arguing with Referee Jessika Carr, eventually becoming a shoving match between the two. Behind the Ref’s back, AJ tastes an exposed turnbuckle, then is on the receiving end of a Manhandle Slam, and we have another new champion.
I’ve seen three matches now, and that’s three matches that were over quickly. When you combine that with the lengthy ad breaks between matches, and we’ve definitely seen more commercial time than in-ring wrestling time. 2.75 Stars. I’m growing very weary.
Seth Rollins vs Gunther
If this one ends in seven or so minutes, then I know we have a problem.
As Seth made his entrance, there was fire, and he walked through it. As I looked at him, I saw smoke coming out of his jacket, and I thought he got Undertaker’d by his own pyro, but no, it was just a special jacket that released smoke. I was about to rant about how this show is completely falling off the rails and we couldn’t even get through an entrance without something being screwed up.
Outside of Paige’s return, this is the loudest that the crowd has been for the entire show, and it still sounds as loud as your average episode of Raw or Smackdown from a B-market like Des Moines, Iowa or Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’m not expecting them to be the loudest crowd of all-time based on what they’ve been given, but it’s still something very noticeable.
Rollins is trying his best to pick the pace up, but Gunther is determined to slow the match down as much as he can. In a normal show, I’d love that, especially with Gunther winning that battle so far. However, on THIS show, I need Seth to get the upper hand. Let’s go, fellas.
Multiple “this is awesome” chants have been heard so far. I wouldn’t go that far just yet, but compared to what we’ve seen today, this might as well be a ten-star Tokyo Dome classic.
A Powerbomb on the announce table at ringside didn’t break the table. Moments later, Seth hits a Pedigree atop the table, and that, too, didn’t break it. Then, Seth delivers a Stomp on the table, and it still doesn’t break. Jeez.
Bron Breakker is back, and he hits Mach 2 during his sprint to the ring before hitting a Spear on Rollins at ringside. As Rollins sells the move and continues to be distracted, it allows Gunther to lock a Sleeper on Seth for the second time in the match. Seth passes out in the hold, and Gunther picks up a big win.
After the match, Bron, who was back on the stage, decides to run back down the ramp for another Spear on Seth. He almost missed Seth entirely (Seth may have stepped aside a bit, and I can’t say that I blame him), but he has enough speed and brutality to knock Seth over, anyway. The crowd chants “one more time” as Bron walks back up the ramp, but instead, Bron merely hugs Paul Heyman and barks at the sky.
This was a fun match, and if it were given more time to work with, would’ve easily reached “great” status. It’s still the clear leader for the best match of the show so far at 3.5 Stars, so at least there’s that, I guess.
Stephanie Vaquer vs Liv Morgan – WWE Women’s World Title Match
Just when this show couldn’t get any worse, we get to hear Liv Morgan’s new song, “Trouble.” She poorly lip syncs the song on stage, accompanied by a bunch of dancers, and the crowd doesn’t react in the slightest until the dancers rip Liv’s suit off, revealing her ring gear underneath it.
At the end of Liv’s performance, she is huffing and puffing like crazy. Oh, boy. Did she just Jey Uso herself and get blown up before her match even begins?
Liv still has two pretty clear black eyes after that gnarly face-to-face collision she had with Roxanne Perez on Raw. At least the golf ball growing out of her forehead has disappeared, but it’s crazy that she looks the way she does for one of the biggest matches of her entire career.
Man, this crowd is d-e-d, dead. They popped a bit for Steph hitting Devil’s Kiss, but outside of that, they’re sitting on their hands.
Roxanne Perez runs down to the ring to distract the Referee, allowing for Raquel Rodriguez to show up at ringside and attack the champion. Liv hits ObLIVion… for two. With the way things have gone so far, I fully expected that to be the end of the match, making it another one that came to an end pretty quickly.
Oh, fuck my life. It didn’t end after ObLIVion because we needed time for a second ObLIVion, giving Liv the win to make her the brand new Women’s World Champion. I’m not 100% sure on the overall time here, but I don’t think it came close to cracking the ten-minute mark. If that’s the case, it would be the fourth match (out of six) that ended in less than ten minutes. This was a very good, personal build, and for it to be over that quickly is a shame.
I enjoyed it for what it was. That personal build allowed for some added physicality, but again, it was a relatively short one. 2.75 Stars, and it certainly would’ve been higher if they had more time to work with.
After the match, John Cena is in the ring to announce the attendance for the show. His number is actually in line with what WrestleTix listed as the overall setup, so there won’t be much cooking of the numbers from WWE this year.
Once the announcement is made, we get the surprise return of Bianca Belair, who is all dressed up for the occasion. She comes to the ring and makes an announcement that Cena’s attendance number is off by one, before she opens her coat to reveal that she is pregnant! That’s awesome! The crowd erupts for Bianca, who is fighting back tears as Cena hugs her and congratulates her. Man, congratulations to her and to Montez Ford for the bundle of joy that is on the way. Selfishly, it sucks that Bianca will now miss more time, as she has already been out of action for a full year after breaking multiple fingers at last year’s WrestleMania, but at least this extra time away is happening for the best possible reason.
Upon looking at Wikipedia again, I see that Steph vs Liv is now the shortest match of the show so far, coming in at 6:50, and that’s including the interference and the distraction from Roxanne and Raquel. I don’t even know what to say at this point.
Cody Rhodes vs Randy Orton – Undisputed WWE Title Match
Main event time.
Not that a heel has never lied before, but according to Pat McAfee himself, he will leave the wrestling business forever if Randy Orton loses this match.
Before the opening bell, McAfee hits Cody in the head with a microphone. Pat and Randy get a few seconds worth of stomps in on Cody before the champion turns the tide, eventually dropping Pat with a Cross Rhodes. The match hasn’t even begun yet, but Cody is now clearing off the announce table as a short “fuck you, Pat” chant is heard.
Jelly Roll teleports to ringside, and he ends up dropping an elbow on McAfee, who was laid out on the table. After everything that table went through earlier without breaking, Jelly Roll’s elbow drop shatters the table into a million pieces.
The opening bell still hasn’t been heard, but the crowd is chanting “na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye” to McAfee, who is being placed on a stretcher and being wheeled away.
There’s the opening bell. We’re finally off and running with the main event.
You know the crowd sucks when even Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton can’t get them going. They popped during the entrances, singing along to both men’s themes, and they popped when Pat McAfee was beaten up, but that has been about it.
Not that this match was ever going to be 1996 Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Juventud Guerrera, but the pacing has gotten even slower. Orton is selling a back injury, “tweaking” it earlier in the match, and he’s moving around very slowly. It also means that a lot of Cody’s offense is focusing on the back, with rest holds and trying to wear Randy down. Pick up the pace, fellas.
Cody continues to get boos for his offense. Nothing too crazy, but definitely noticeable.
After being sent, face-first, into the ring post, Orton comes up bleeding from the forehead. Big “oooooh” reaction from the crowd, who really isn’t used to seeing blood in WWE matches anymore. This is only going to get the heel heat for Cody to grow, as he keeps beating a battered and bloody Orton down. Cody is showing the edge that he missed in feuds with Roman Reigns and John Cena. It kept costing him against those men, but he seems like he’s refusing to let it cost him again.
Cody hits Orton with Randy’s own rope-assisted draping DDT, and he goes to hit Orton with an RKO, but Randy steps out of the way before dropping Cody with… you guessed it… Cross Rhodes. It gets two. A minute or so later, Cody is finally able to land an RKO, but that, too, gets two. Moves aren’t as dangerous when they’re performed on the people who have perfected them, obviously.
Orton appears to have busted Cody’s forehead open the hard way with a punch. Cody feels the blood pouring down his head and seems caught by surprise.
Orton gets poked in the eye, and then hits the Referee with an RKO. He’s “blinded,” of course. With the Referee down, Cody kicks Orton in the little Randies and then goes for a Cody Cutter, only to eat an RKO. Pat McAfee runs back down the ramp with a neck brace on, wearing a Referee’s shirt. Before Pat can get too involved, though, he eats an RKO from Orton to a big pop from the crowd. With the distraction, Cody sneaks up on Randy and drops him with Cross Rhodes for the pin and the win.
I’m not even sure what to say, to be honest. The match itself was fine. Slow, in a spot where it needed to be something faster paced, but nothing egregious or too offensive. I just don’t see what the point of the last couple weeks were. Pat McAfee had no business being involved in this story, and ultimately, he was there for no real reason at all. 3.5 Stars
After the match, Orton takes the title belt out of Cody’s hand and then hits him with it. With Cody on his hands and knees in the middle of the ring, Orton backs up and hits Cody with the Punt to a big pop from the crowd. We go off the air with Cody unconscious, and with Orton soaking in the reaction from the crowd.
When you take everything into account, from the match lengths to the technical issues to the addition of Pat McAfee where he didn’t belong, and everything in between… this was a really bad edition of WrestleMania. I’ve seen people say it was one of the worst Manias ever, but those people clearly are under the age of 30, and didn’t watch some of those first few shows.
For all intents and purposes, this was an episode of Raw or Smackdown held in front of 50,000 people and with a bunch more commercials sprinkled in. That’s not the worst WrestleMania I’ve ever seen, but it was far from great. This is WrestleMania, and almost everything on this four-hour show is skippable. Do you realize how sad that is? Tomorrow’s show doesn’t have a high bar to clear if it wants to be better than this was.
