Dragon’s Lair: The Legend Review Mini – Review Mini

Please raise your hand if you are the one person on this planet who wanted a re-release of a 1991 Game Boy game called Dragon’s Lair: The Legend because I would like to shake your hand and ask “but why?” Well, it’s your lucky day, became come April, your wish will be granted by Elite Systems and Incube8 Games in both digital and physical forms. This platformer (?) has absolutely no resemblance to the groundbreaking 1983 Don Bluth LaserDisk game from which it takes its name, and is, in fact, a reskin of a ZX Spectrum game called Roller Coaster. I’ve provided screenshots from the opening screen of both games below so you can compare them. Guess which one is which.

Dragon’s Lair: The Legend contains no combat, no Princess Daphne, no Mordoc, no Singe, and no quicktime events. There are no cutscenes. This is not a Dragon’s Lair game, title notwithstanding.

Here, you can only move Dirk the Daring left or right and jump. Our hero’s goal is not to rescue Princess Daphne from Singe or defeat Mordoc, but to collect 194 “Life Stones” scattered throughout the world, which are square gemstones that litter every screen. You must then travel “over the mountains to the final screen” and bring the Good Knight back to life. There aren’t many characters in Dragon’s Lair, but “the Good Knight” is not one of them.

Collecting all of these Life Stones requires the patience of a Zen monk. Dirk starts with ten lives, all of which can be lost within minutes because so many things kill him. Falling on spikes is understandable. Stepping on sand? That’s less obvious. Falling onto what appears to be water? Also fatal. Being run into by a rhinoceros? Weirdly safe. Jumping directly into what appears to be an enemy monster surrounded by a rotating ring of smaller monsters? No worries!

Collecting *checks notes* 45 Life Stones earns Dirk an extra life, but getting to that 45th Life Stone will probably cost you eight or nine lives. Or, let’s be honest, two or three Game Overs and then eight or nine lives. It’s a losing battle every step of the way. Dirk can land on most things in any given environment–things you might not realize he can land on–but will also often fall through things that seem like he could land on. There are no set rules in this godawful nightmare realm, only trial and error. The reason games like Super Meat Boy are successful (and beatable) is because there are hard rules. Dragon’s Lair: The Legend doesn’t have any rules. It is a cruel, punitive game.

Honestly, Dragon’s Lair: The Legend makes a lot more sense when you understand it as a reskin of Roller Coaster. A lot of the rotating platforms were once theme park rides, including the unusual prevalence of mine cart sequences–which were once the titular roller coasters. Life Stones used to be money bags. The rhino in the opening screen used to be a car. This port of Dragon’s Lair: The Legend is specifically the European version which included the ability to gain extra lives and negates fall damage. Yes, the North American version lacked these things. Having said all that, appreciating Dragon’s Lair: The Legend’s direct ancestry doesn’t make it any less frustrating, and in fact might make it worse. The inclusion of color in Roller Coaster could make it a little easier to play.

I question why Incube8 Games would bother re-releasing Dragon’s Lair: The Legend at all. People who see the box and assume it’s a portable version of Dragon’s Lair are in for crushing disappointment.