IN LAIMAN’S TERMS #455 – Thoughts on AEW: Dynamite

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Thoughts on AEW: Dynamite – November 1st, 2023

1. It’s Wednesday, etc. According to the summary, MJF needs to choose three excellent partners, so I’m ready for a most epic adventure. Opening preview, we don’t get those often, but might as well remind people of the classic they most likely missed on Saturday. If that’s not Two Steps From Hell on the soundtrack, it’s a damn good impression of them.

2. We move from the opening preview to Renee welcoming MJF to the show, so we’re really mixing up the formula. Those three most excellent partners that are totally not gonna be the three people gunning for his title just made the list, and they bring in Adam Cole on video chat. That post-surgery beard really sells it, but I do love how they’re incorporating him into the storyline despite his (presumed) injury. He once again promises to defend their titles before, of course, the giraffe with its crew shows up yelling ADDDAAAAAAAM. Cole hangs up on them, and we get a Wyatt cut to the devil mask before the intro finally happens. I like it, that was a good way to set the scene for the show tonight, and sometimes it’s good to mix up the formula.

3. The International title is the opening match and its once again being defended by Orange Cassidy, so while we had a non-formulaic opening, sometimes the better aspects of the structure can still stay in place.

4. It sounds like Hugo Weaving in a mask is conducting an orchestra, so Claudio is definitely on his way. The day I thought I’d see Claudio selling this kind of intensity, or Orange Cassidy being on the receiving end of it, were once thought equally unlikely. The match begins relatively similar to last week, with OC getting the beJEEZUSSSS kicked out of him. FAFO, Orange.

5. They put over pinning Orange Cassidy being a very big deal, which makes Claudio’s legitimacy for the title shot more valid. The attention to detail they’re already applying to this show feels like concerted extra effort, and I appreciate it.

6. Orange finally starts to come back for half a second before getting dropped into the guard rail from a military press. That couldn’t have felt good.

7. Hook comes down to watch OC’s back because Yuta’s being a little shit, and this gets them both kicked out. Does it count if they don’t have the big dramatic umpire-esque “yer outta here” point? I mean, unless your name is Don Callis, then you can get ejected and just wander back with no consequence whatsoever.

8. Thank you for showing up, Hook and his backpack, you were almost on screen long enough to be seen.

9. A stalling suplex from the second rope on Orange sends us into PiP with the better commentary, and they thought he was injured from all those other open challenge matches. Claudio hasn’t burst the blood, but he’s been punishing Orange Cassidy nearly as bad in retribution for Danielson. Again, a thing to say, Claudio Castagnoli is seeking vengeance for *Orange Cassidy* injuring *the American Dragon.* What a time to be a fan.

10. And already my first spinning white circle of doom, my old nemesis has returned.

11. Claudio is so tall that taking the countering Stundog Millionaire is almost impossible, but OC’s next attempt at the DDT is countered into the Big Swing and a sharpshooter. These two work really well together.

12. A counter to the sharpshooter turns multiple more submission moves, and even still, Orange tries to Julius up. He hasn’t been able to sustain momentum for longer than a few seconds, and the anvil elbows aren’t going to help. OC goes dead weight, and all of his usual counters keep failing. Claudio does a sleeper Big Swing, holy shit this is fun. OC comes outta nowhere with the Orange Punch and gets a Beach Break, but Claudio pulls an OC and rolls out of the ring, though likely without the OC-style apathy.

13. Claudio barely beats the count back in, as OC hasn’t done much better in responding. The opening match International title defense banger carries through yet again. OC hits the apathy kicks but the intensity builds up more and more. OC tries for another DDT counter, gets stuck for a minute, but Claudio is such a pro that he helps restore the fluidity, and we get another near fall.

14. Sign in the crowd: “Food is Great.” Okay? I guess “water is drinkies” was too long?

15. OC counters out of a pop-up, hits one of the more devastating hurricanranas I’ve ever seen, and sneaks out yet another title defense. Claudio is the one left standing, and suddenly they call in the heater. Here comes Jon Moxley, with his leather jacket back on because he’s tired of drunk Randy Quaid yelling at him.

16. OC, for some reason, thinks this is a good time to run at Mox. It goes exactly as well as you would think. Claudio stands there and watches. They send out a whole two security guards, that seems like enough.

17. Claudio finally pulls Mox off after he goes all Biteski, though I doubt it’s out of any benevolence. I guess Hook decided he got thrown out once, so that was enough to not try again.

18. MJF shows up to Kenny’s locker room, but Jericho answers. He shuts the door on him. Suddenly, PINEAPPLES! No, I mean WARDLOW! We haven’t seen them interact since the famous squash match. Now from around the corner, SCISSORS! It fails yet again. The powers of scissoring still cannot compel him. Perhaps it’s time to call on Immortal Dog for some backup.

19. We come back with Mox in his plain white T’s, and he’s mad that he showed OC respect by letting him walk out. He even admits that it’s not even about him, but at Full Gear, he’s gonna take whatever it is out on him. Mox does not seem well, or he’s just selling that fact, I have no idea.

20. More ROH titles being defended on Dynamite, in which I’m sure will be a fun match, but I’m tired of so much ROH being on the show again.

21. There aren’t enough trios for one trios division, let alone two. I really wanted the ROH integration to work, but honestly I’m just sick of it. With them being on the show this much, they may as well also be AEW titles, and the amount of titles there are makes the Invasion era tell them to tone it down a bit. Once again, I’m sure the match will be fine, I just can’t be arsed to give a shit. Imagine what matches like this could do for the ROH product.

22. WHOSE HOUSE? Swerve with the distraction. Adam Page is a babyface so of course he falls for it. I’m surprised the roll-up didn’t happen right there.

23. Damn, the Mogul Embassy go over the Bucks. I figured even with the disadvantage, they’d pull it out. Surprised, but pleasantly surprised. Now please send those titles back to ROH.  Backstage, Swerve and Hangman are ANGRY YELLING RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE. Some person is laid out flat on the ground. The Bucks are pissed and… wow, Matt starts beating a steel chair against a table and the ring post. What’d they ever do to you?

24. Meanwhile, MJF walks right past Samoa Joe’s locker room, and then the Acclaimed fail yet again to convince him. This isn’t doing anything for the Acclaimed, in my opinion.

25. Oh right, Adam Copeland is on this brand now, nice of him to be here. It’s an AEW interview, so it gets interrupted before one sentence can be completed. At least this one is only for more crowd adulation.

26. Copeland puts over Schiavone huge, what a lovely thing to do. Copeland catches us up on how he and Sting go way back, other than the admiration they had for him as kids. But before we can find out if he’s going to team with Darby and Sting, another interruption.

27. Christian details what they’ve done as of late, and threatens to exacerbate his neck problems if he doesn’t back down. He sends the goons in to give him a “preview” of the rather verbose threats he makes. Copeland and Christian finally sort of face… off. Luchasaurus attacks from behind, because Adam assumed that a few shots would be enough to take him down like that security guy backstage.

28. Sting takes his sweet ass time but finally starts to come out. Oh, there’s Darby, caught just as he’s sliding in the ring. Copeland sets up for the Anger Spear, and I believe for the first time. Copeland says that because Christian’s gonna snap his neck, he’s gonna kick his ass. Um… that’s sort of a downgraded response, isn’t it? All I can hear is Hannibal Buress saying “kill people, burn shit, fuck school, I hate spam emails.”

29. Hey, Nigel! If anything could make another announcement better, it is the presence of Nigel McGuinness. They officially announce the tickets for the next All In at Wembley. Then Nigel goes into detail, and he should be the voice of every announcement like this.

30. I don’t think 2.0 has a chance in hell, so they might as well tie a string around their finger because it’s just a matter of time. It does mean we get to hear their sweet vaporwave theme though, so that’s something. I am quite curious where this thing with Ang and Ruby is going.

31. That match happened. Fletcher sure adjusted to being a part of the group very quickly. He was almost a fiery babyface for a hot minute.

32. Callis gets the crowd hot again and compares them to cockroaches. He makes a challenge for a street fight, which happens on the STREET not the ring, ya DUMMIES. Wow. Omega is glad to be a dummy and not a stupidhead. Elementary school, so maybe it’s not a street but a blacktop playground. Kota will be there too. Who will their fourth member be and will it be anyone but the Paul Wight? Could they telegraph it any more? Maybe they should say the word “big” a few more times. It’s not obvious.

33. Oh snap, it’s Paul Wight, who saw that coming? He punches Fletcher right in the fuck, and Fletcher sells it like a possum playing dead. That was amazing. All right then. But if this match isn’t literally on an actual street, I’m going to be highly disappointed. Otherwise it just means a regular no-holds barred match but with “Big Denim” Paul Wight. Not that that’s a bad version of Paul Wight, but when you also have the option of Captain Insano…

34. The Bucks are highly annoyed that they’re not included in the match, and they ask why Jericho’s in their locker room. They sure got salty with Jericho out of nowhere. I must’ve missed something.

35. Time for the designated women’s match of the show. Willow gets a title match after recently losing a contender’s match for a championship match, for reasons. Her eye makeup seems to have gotten better. Willow must be too pure for the mist, whereas Skye Blue falls further into the darkness.

36. The Fright Night match on Saturday was really fun, and not just because Abadon was in it. There was a “we want pumpkins” chant, and I was amazed to not see Tom Hanks in a Pumpkin blazer respond to the call. Oh the possibilities wasted.

37. This match just doesn’t have much heat to it, and that’s neither of their faults. It always delights me though to see the POOOOOOOOOOUNNNNNNCE! Willow escapes two roll-ups and a knee strike, but the Katana is just too much. It was fine.

38. Shida pulls Willow up for a handshake and they hug, but what does this segment need? It needs HAM! I think Toni collapses to do some snow angels. She’s mean to the butler and then attacks the Timeless one.

39. The lights go out, and I think they went off air by mistake for a second. Suddenly, JULIA. Julia then extends her hand, but Skye Blue comes out to get in her face first. Skye Blue has her own mist and it’s blue, but we couldn’t see much of it, so it just looks like she blew her a big kiss. What a disappointment, I was looking forward to that. If the mist didn’t work and she did that, why has she been such a grump then? Meh, this is gonna be one of those capstone shows where the beginning and ending are phenomenal and the middle is… the middle, isn’t it?

40. Sad Max is backstage, and the Acclaimed are there again. They want him to wear a thing, so I imagine that’s what will be the determining factor. He says he’s got one more group on his list, and it’s… the Triple J Carny Gang. Max decides maybe whatever the Acclaimed asked him to wear isn’t so bad. I was really hoping they were setting up for a Team of Rivals thing, which they’ve hinted at with Joe offering to be his friend, but…

41. Renee isn’t even interviewing anyone and she still gets interrupted. They came out there to make a phone call to Cole, and their attempts to turn Cole against MJF fail dramatically. Somehow they still look less pathetic and desperate than the Acclaimed.

42. The slow spinny entrance doesn’t work as well with the BCG theme as it did with the Gunns’. Still means there is HAM incoming though. Unfortunately there’s also pointless audio pyro, so everything has a balance.

43. The Acclaimed’s theme hits, and Caster gives one of his better raps in the last few months. I guess after all that begging, MJF picked his last resort, and he has to wear… a pink scarf, a scissor shirt, and matching gear. He looks so thrilled.

44. I think Daddy ass got a Happy Birthday chant. Good for him, how nice of them to remember.

45. Despite the very strange, desperate booking of the Acclaimed lately, the crowd is still singing along, so maybe I’m in the minority of thinking this makes them look dumb.

46. Tony brings up not knowing who the man in the devil mask is and…. yeah, where the hell has that been? They barely acknowledged that it happened for like a month. It’s been incorporated a tiny bit, but there’s nothing easier to build intrigue than a Whodunnit.

47. They said “look here, Father vs. Son here, guys,” but it was while the match graphic for AR Fox vs. Swerve was on the screen, and for a minute I thought they were talking about them. I mean, it was a great match in Seattle back in January, but not enough to form unexpected familial bonding. At least I don’t think.

48. MJF still refuses to scissor, and that sends us into PiP. Credit, that’s at least different than a dive to the outside. That’s the only thing that gets MJF booed lately, and the whole crowd chants for Scissors. Will he cave to peer pressure?

49. “Staring at the opposition, scissoring in their direction.”

50. The crowd chants to let them scissor. If it’s working, it’s working I guess. Sometimes when you’re that over, you can do literally anything and it works out fine. Maybe this is their Kangaroo Kick.

51. More spinny circles of doom, for fuck’s sake…

52. It keeps freezing and then playing for a few seconds, then freezing again. Yay internet.

53. MJF gets the hot tag and goes all HAM on Fire. Apparently the most surprising thing about the Kangaroo Kick this evening is that it happened… in Louisville? Okay. It didn’t happen very well, because he turns around into a Bladerunner, and Jay White wins.

54. They set up MJF for a belt shot, and the Acclaimed guys come to save him… for some reason. I believe Max doing it, but the others? Eh. Is this just a setup for a big show-end save? They don’t get Jay though, and he still sets up with the belt.

55. Fucking A, more JBLdamn spinny circle. The stream is shit tonight.

56. Caster comes in and sacrifices himself to take the belt shot for MJF. More spinny circle. This is gonna be a great show once it finishes loading, I’m sure of it.

57. Max reaches up for a scissor, and MJF still refuses. Billy Gunn finally breaks and is like, hell no, you’re gonna do this or I’m sending you to your room to think about what you’ve done. Finally, they do a four way scissor. The people like it, so I guess it’s okay.

58. I won’t lie, I hated this show after the first match. It not only felt lackluster, but full of potential for much better things that they just didn’t do. I don’t know, the shitty internet didn’t help, but I did not enjoy the majority of this show very much at all. After the Mox promo, most of it fell flat. Skye Blue was finally getting interesting beyond being the young, plucky babyface who always loses, but nah. I feel like the Team of Rivals would’ve been unique, different, and interesting. But the crowd in person enjoyed themselves, so there’s that.

LARGE HAM

MJF having to wear Acclaimed gear. No Doubt.

2023 Semi-Finalists:

MJF/Adam Cole

Toni Storm

Juice Robinson

Roderick Strong/Neck Strong

Christian Cage

Ruby Soho